No time to write...must instead try Larry King style...
This truly captures the courageous Tiger Woods story...I'd equate socialism with compassion if it actually worked...My advice: Never join a church that, if they have a paid "the pastor" office, seriously wouldn't hire a homeless, penniless guy to do it...
If this is true, I can promise I will never die...
Paul said any command you come up with can be summed up with "love one another", but people don't buy it, because we prefer unending complexity...Your Bluetooth does not make you look cool...I'm in a neighborhood garage band called "The Re-Uptake Inhibitors"...
I don't understand small talk, and never have, and I can't do it very well at all, and it's embarrassing...We'll always have the poor, but the American church could single-handedly wipe out "poverty as we know it", but we have other priorities...We watched "Bella" last week, and it's really good, but they yap too much, and they should have thrown in some explosions, at least in the background or something...
I own a for-real, professional-grade slide whistle, and it's sitting on my desk right now...We need critics of the religious right who aren't sell-outs to the political left...This toaster RULES: The "Moaster"...I came up with a new exercise plan, where I work-out for much shorter periods of time, but in brief sprint-intervals...It saves time...It also doesn't work...
I'm creeped out by clowns, and so is everybody, but I'm also creeped out by those mustache-guys with big bow ties and hats that rode around on those bicycles with one giant wheel and one tiny one...I'm excited that Danica Patrick has, once again, proven that women, too, can drive fast, and who knew?...Affluence makes people less interesting, plain and simple...There were ELEVEN empty urinals in this airport bathroom the other day and some guy walked in and used the one right next to me...
Daniel Radosh, a secular Jew, writing for the NYTimes, has a list of "Ten Great Christian Songs", and includes Kamp Krusty faves the 77's, Over the Rhine, and Andy Hunter, so he's smack-on...I hate golf, but had to play in a tournament, so I borrowed my friend's precious clubs, then accidentally destroyed his $300 driver...
The reason the media went overboard with Tim Russert coverage: It wasn't about him, it's about their own mortality...Indiana basketball is going to be hilariously bad this fall...I just finished Dostoeyevski's Crime and Punishment and you know what? It was downright okay...
I say "What in tarnation?" a lot, and I'm not sure what I'm saying, and I sometimes think 30% of my vocabulary is borrowed from Yosemite Sam...Pacifism can be profoundly unloving...I also say, "Egad!", which, I think, is from Unca Scrooge...I was on the treadmill the other day, looked up at the TV, and Oprah was talking to a guy who's like, six months pregnant...
My friend Paul is in a "Christian 'Call of Duty 4' League" online, where they snipe each other in the head and fire grenades at each other...At least he was in the league, until he got kicked out for saying, "That weapon is gay..." ...I can't believe how good God is to me. Honestly -- it's unbelievable...
Traffic is forgiveness practice...I'm embarrassed that I have hair on my fingers, and ironically, may be asked to do an endorsement for a laser-hair-removal place. But I'm going to leave the hair on my fingers, because I don't want my endorsements to say, "Wow, I feel GREAT after getting all that HAIR off my FINGERS..." ...I bowled a 206 the other day, and I can't see straight. It's all about foot placement...
I found a hat the other day in Key West that actually fit my dumb head. I should have bought it...The difference between capitalism and Marxism: "In capitalism, man exploits man, but in Marxism, it's the other way around."... If "What About Bob" isn't funny to you, we can love each other, but we probably aren't going to be friends...Evangelical guys in their mid-40s through 60s have ALL the answers, man...
I have a Chinese friend with a ping-pong table in his ample living room. Do not challenge a Chinese man to a match on his own ping-pong table...I'm -- frankly -- kinda scared about my radio show going national here in a week or so...Gas prices would not be "the issue" if we'd put more thought into zoning. I'm always bugged by the anti-human urban "planning" we've embraced...THE best way, as you know, to enjoy fortune cookies: Whatever it says, insert the words, "...in bed." at the end...
When "First Things" arrives in my mailbox, my heart skips a beat...I can't believe I wrote about finger-hair up there...If a blog-writer were a person who enjoyed a cold beer every so often, he might be tempted to write here that "Bud Light Lime" is surprisingly good, maybe as good as Landshark, hypothetically speaking...I wish I had more time to blog. I'd probably produce better stuff than this. You deserve a purple heart if you finished this...
Recent Comments