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A personal first:
This morning, on my show, I kept squeezing the air-pump thing that blows up my exercise ball. It makes a squealing sound. I made this noise a lot. It was fun.
I then got an email from some online listeners, some students in a classroom in Scotland, asking me to knock it off, or they were tuning to BBC-3.
I annoyed people all the way in SCOTLAND, man. What I was doing was so grating, so deeply unnerving, that the youth of Scotland asked me to stop it.
Victory.
There's this guy Alan Hirsch who wrote this book. All in all, I would say that I liked this book, and that it is good. He writes good. I like good writer. But he crazy.
Good-n-Crazy. That, I now see, is Alan Hirsch.
It is a book about what "church" actually is, and what it can be. The whole family was drawn to it, as you can see, including Arwen, who, as a Chihuahua-Terrier mix, feels that the church suffers from a surplus of western syncretism, and a dearth of Snausages.
Like I say: Good, but crazy. "Good", because it's packed with insight that's borne not of pure frustration or hipper-than-thou-ism, but out of love for what the church has been, can be, and, in fact, IS in some places of the world.
"Crazy", because, frankly, I talk like this around people all the time, and they say I'm crazy. So Alan's crazy, too. He thinks the attractional model of church falls short of reaching its own standard of success. And he thinks a lot of "cutting-edge" church models are really just the same thing, just extra-crunchy, with a 
layer of hip on top.
And speaking of nutty: Alan Hirsch thinks the Gospel -- Jesus's Gospel -- isn't so complex that we need unending education about it! He says illiterate peasants can understand it. Children understand it. And when the Gospel isn't institutionalized and professionalized and goes "underground", well, things get distilled nicely:
This is precisely how Paul can plant a church in a week and then say they have no need for any further instructino because they received the gospel in its fullness. (e.g. Acts 17:1-9, I,2 Thess., Acts 16:11-40) -- p.86
And then things blow up. Like, from 25,000 Christians in AD 100, to 20,000,000 by AD 310. Or like the Chinese church in the past few decades, for that matter.
Hirsch tries to be disarming. Hirsch seems to feel that some of us are wont to attack his point of view, simply because we equate our ways with the Way itself.
Hirsch paints a beautiful picture of who are to be, but then Hirsch seems to believe that, for some, that beauty may pale before even a fading, and failing, status quo.
And Hirsch is probably right about that, too. Crazy, huh?
The finale for "Gifted" is on tonight. Some people are unclear on the concept, so let me try: It's like "American Idol", except that, just like on Idol, Christians are allowed on the show. And no, I don't understand that last sentence, either.
"Gifted" is a LOT like "American Idol", but you can't call it "Idol", and, as titles go, "American Singer-Person Who Might Be a Little More Christian than Carrie Underwood" would be awkward.
(The site says "Gifted" means something signficant: It's set apart because it's "not about image." Happily, it's "about vocal talent, period." In unrelated news, the eight finalists are all younger than me.)
And the site has short bios for the finalists. One apparently has a "love for Christ" that is "unparalleled."
Memo to Paul of Tarsus: Boo ya.
(BTW, I remember being put in the "Gifted" English class in my small, football-crazed high school. "Gifted", in this sense, meant, quite clearly, "Please pummel me.")
Speaking of Idol: I mentioned, on-air, last week, that the church should be about the Kingdom of God, which means, among other things, valuing what the culture doesn't value. Listeners started offering their own money to bring in two A.I. "rejects" -- both special-needs kinds of guys -- for a Florida vacation, and to be applauded by thousands at an upcoming concert. This wound up making the front page of the Seattle Times, the local NBC affiliate, the Palm Beach Post, etc.
I'd give you the links, but I come off kinda stupid in them.
My desire to look cool is unparalleled.
As a service to my listeners*, I offer quality features like Family Friendly 24 Theater.
This way, they get the 24 storyline, without all the graphic violence, compressed into two minutes. And they don't have to stay up until 10 p.m.! I just email a script on Tuesday morning to a listener-friend, Adrianne, and she reads the script cold off her Blackberry.
In other news, I have no idea who these children are.
* -- Technically, according to Listener Research Data, I'm misleading by using the plural here.
From the very opening of his show, Shaun Groves let everyone know he was glad to be in Palm City, Florida, and that this night was going to be a rock-and-roll roller coaster.
Groves broke things wide-open with an aggressive, yet non-violent, version of "Should I Tell Them?", then, seamlessly, into a pensive, acoustic salute to the Scorpions: "Palm City, Palm City Nights" whipped the crowd into a frenzy of quiet reflection.
Groves' musical offerings, a unique blend of acoustic folk/pop, were in the service of poverty-relief group Compassion International. The concert was largely positive and encouraging, but punctuated by moments that will linger long for concert-goers. One disturbing turn: During Groves' tear-jerking hit, "Twilight", his road manager Brody Harper appeared onstage to offer his own interpretive, and, not insignificantly, shirtless, dance of praise.
The crowd allowed Groves to finish silently, while, memorably, the only sound that could be heard for the next 12 minutes was the continued patting of Harper's feet on the carpeted stage. The crowd remained silent for some time, some eventually breaking into small groups to "process" what had just happened.
Largely, Groves provided his own dance moves, some artistically impressive, some morally dubious, and still others prompting immediate, and scholarly, debate among leading theologians.
A perplexed crowd, eventually re-convening, roared back to life when Groves began an extended medley in open C-minor tuning. This medley consisted of all of his songs.
Longtime fans appreciated his turn at Calvary Chapel's grand piano, where Groves fought back tears in an airy, aching, "When We Love the Least/You're a Grand Old Flag" fusion. Groves followed up with new songs, including the ska-tinged, "Big, Big House (Not Sure Why We Bought It)", an anthemic tribute to Stanley Hauerwas, "Hook, Line, and Sinker", and then the thoughtful, reflective cri de coeur, "Taller Than You (Way Taller)".
The staging was perfect, with Groves' now-familiar giant Texas flag unfurling at just the right-time, during the final chorus of "Welcome Home."
True to his gifts, Groves finished with another medley, "I Can Only Imagine/76 Trombones/Walk This Way", which had the crowd marching to Compassion tables to sponsor children, before leaving quietly yet quickly. Harper, still shirtless, got lost on the way to the hotel.
In what could be a preview into the next round of People Who Pretend to Be Other People Awards, the "Golden Globes" were given to some noteworthy good looking people who pretend that they're other people.
It was neat to see them get attention, plus a "Golden Globe" trophy that distinguishes itself by having a golden-type-globe theme.
Actress Meryl Streep broke her unlucky string of seven consecutive hours without being appauded by winning an award. It was a globe. She pretended to be someone else in the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada".
A person named Forest Whitaker also won an award. Who will forget his epic turn, as someone who's not Forest Whitaker, in the movie, "The Last King of Scotland"? (Answer: Zero people.)
Hugh Laurie isn't a doctor, but he pretends he is, and he pretends better than other play-pretend doctors. They gave him a Globe Trophy for doing that. Someone named Helen Mirren pretended she was Queen Elizabeth (She had her own crown and everything! I saw a picture of when she did that!) and people liked that, too, so they clapped for her. That was neat.
It was profoundly neat to see a Hollywood group give attention to some good-looking, pretending people. The next round of People Who Pretend to be Other People Awards isn't for another week. I'm glad I watch the news so I could learn all about this. I like that.
After thinking about it some more: Yes. I'd still like to be shot by Jack Bauer.
Yeah, the final episode of the last season was lame. But dang it, Jack Bauer still, in fact, rocks the casbah.
Yeah, I didn't "get" why, when someone said, "Hey Jack -- your daughter's on the phone for you in this dark room here in this warehouse-thing, so just step in the dark here," and then he just walked in. I didn't get that. Doesn't his dumb daughter have his cell number? Hellooooo?
But he was probably tired.
We're still going to watch. I do miss some of the characters, like that one hobbit. But alas, people have to die.
Which brings me back to my point. It's not that I want to be shot. It's just that, if I'm going to be shot, I'd like Jack Bauer to do it. And I don't want to be one of the bad guys, I want it to be one of those situations where I'm innocent, but I have to be shot in order to save the country, and Jack kinda has to make a tough call, but he shoots me and then doesn't really have time to reflect. You know, one of those-type situations.
It would be the least I can do for my country. Again, I'm not saying I want to be shot, but if I have to? Jack. And I'd like to then fall over a railing, like off a submarine, into like -- I don't know - the North Atlantic.
Yeah. The North Atlantic.
Maybe I could resurface in a later episode, when Jack has a dream about heaven, and me and the hobbit-guy are up there and it kind of looks like the Shire.
This is not a weird death-wish, just a best-of-a-really-bad-case-scenario thing.. All things considered, if it would help my country, I'd rather just be kicked in the face by Walker, Texas Ranger.
Christianity Today gives us another round on Christian radio.
Leave it to the outspoken Derek Webb to sum up the complicated politics of Christian radio -- what songs get played, and for what audience -- in a one-punch sentence:
"The gospel," says Webb, "has no target demographic."
Sure, Derek. But radio stations do.
And the gospel doesn't play F chords, but some wonderful guitar players do. It's okay. Really.
Truth is, every single radio station on your dial -- with actual listeners, anyway -- has a target demographic.
(And this will surely be tonic, indeed, for those who've long thought, "Why can't Christian radio become more professional?)
Shaun Groves, who's my favorite provocateur besides, you know, me, "takes his own swing", it says:
The trouble is, Christian radio tells stories to make you feel like they're evangelistic, but they're not. Say what you are. Don't lie to me and say I'm saving teenagers. (Ed note 1/14: See Shaun's comment in thread for illumination of this quote.)
I'm not lyin', Shaun. We're broadly-casting songs about God. This resonates with some people who stumble across it, or start listening at the prompting of their friends on the way to school.
Radio is surprisingly emotional for people, too. Part of it's because it penetrates private spaces. Since I don't believe in atheists, I suspect many, deep down, long for a reminder of what they "can't not know", what they've forgotten. What's more: Music, even the slicked-up, Nashville variety, can cut to the heart.
(Don't get me wrong: "Christian radio" can be very deserving of criticism. It can be theologically irresponsible, professionally abysmal, mbarrassingly...embarrassing. This is not, however, because programmers aren't trying to be "evangelistic" enough. It's because they're actually over-reaching, trying to be too much to too many, trying to take on all the roles of the church, and trying it all on a budget that doesn't afford talent. There are, thankfully, exceptions. On the whole, stations that humbly say, "Here's what we do", and stick to it -- they're going to be a credit to their communities.)
Yes, it's possible that artists know better than the emailers themselves, like, yes, many teeangers who say, "You know, I was feeling totally hopeless until my friend got me started listening to your station, and then..." -- but it's doubtful.
As in: Not true.
Another University of Florida sport team played really good at their sport!
What it was was football. The University of Florida also played good at another sport, too. What that was was basketball. I say congratulations to all who choose to draw satisfaction, even self-esteem, from the good-playing of these sport teams!
The University of Florida "Gators" (They play-pretend to be alligators! It's really neat to watch!) have many people here very excited! It's neat! Lots of hoopla and carryings-on! The defeated a team called "Buck-eyes!"
In other news, the University of Illinois has silently defeated cancer.
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