I like it when I get to go on a plane! One of the neat things is how they divide us into "classes"! I'm glad they put a curtain between me and the First Class people! I can sure understand why they would not want to even SEE people like me. I wouldn't, either!
Or, maybe, they don't want people like me to see people like them! I can understand that, too! If I was "First Class", I wouldn't want people like me to be able to see me, either, that's for sure! I'd want a curtain between me and me, too! Just thinking about me makes me kind of sick.
The plane people always want me to sit down in a special Other Section, called "Coach"! It's a special other section, just for people like me! I like it when I get to sit by the 600 pound guy! I like it because the side of my face leaves neat patterns on the window!
Thing is, I just flew on a plane, in my special section, and I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY, REALLY bad. The plane-people had a peanut cart on wheels, which was neat, but it blocked my way to my special Coach bathroom! I didn't know what to do. My only other choice was to crash through the Veil, and use the First Class Lavatory. But that's for First Class Passengers Only!
Do you know what I did?
I urinated in the First Class bathroom.
I did! First, I pulled back the veil, and then I saw what they were doing up there in First Class. You know what they do up there in First Class? I found out: They stare at people! I saw them do it. They stare at people who come from behind the veil and walk to the bathroom!
I think they knew what I was going to do, too, in there. And while I was doing that, I wondered if they would still be staring when I went back to my own special section! And they were! I think they were grossed out. I'd be grossed out, too, if someone like me used MY special bathroom!
True story: I had this dream one time, where I was writing a really lame song. I woke up and told Carolyn about it, because -- who knows why? -- it was Guns-n-Roses-inspired, and I remembered the lyrics:
I saw your website, for your upcoming event: www.churchsolutionsexpo.com. I feel that a sexpo, even in the interest of helping pastors expand what you call the "houses of worship market", is inappropriate, not right, and just generally wrong.
While the Bible is largely silent about sexpos, that does not, in my opinion, make your sexpo acceptable. You say, for example, your sexpo "will have a unique appeal for exhibitors".
Just before the trade deadline, we traded our bird for a dog. The bird had some problems. The dog has some problems. The bird was livin' on a prayer. The new dog is livin' on three legs. The bird screeched constantly. The new dog yelps with PTSD.
Even swap. The kids are happy.
The sum total number of dog legs in our home (TDL) can be expressed as follows: TDL = 2X - 1 Given X as the default legs per unit (4)
His name is Nigel. Nigel Tufnel Hansen, in full. He's a mutt from Animal Aid in Ft. Lauderdale. Somebody hit him with a car. Like me, Nigel is a misfit/widdle cuddle machine.
Skip Disney World. When you come to Florida and check this out: Even though Nigel is missing a rear leg, he manages to lift the other leg when he does his business. It's stunning. He balances on his front two paws and pees. It's like Cirque Du Soleil, except it doesn't scare me.
Because there's nothing more fun than forcing people to look at your own photo albums, here's an online version.
I can't force you to look at it. I can't even force myself to think you'd want to. But here it is.
Oh, the places you'll go!