Letters from Kamp Krusty

Let's Hear It for the Me-Meister

They say you can't "love the sinner, and hate the sin."  It's not possible.  If you love someone, you cannot hate how they are to themselves or others.  If you love someone, you must accept the entirety of who he is.  All of it.

As a scholar, equipped with (that's right) a Bachelor's Degree from a Fully-Accredited Institution, I humbly, respectfully, and collegially submit: 

Bull.

Proof?  Exhibit A:  Me.

I hate some of the ways I am, and some of the things I do.  I hate, hate, hate it.  I do not approve.  I cast aspersion.  I think I'm a moral mess.  I should wear the scarlet alphabet, plus some scarlet numbers and maybe some scarlet wingdings.

...but I don't hate me.  No, I'm pretty taken with me, actually. 

I loves me some me.

In spite of my moral failures, in spite of my sin, I still manage to want what's best for me.  I'm rooting for me, big time.  I'm in my corner.  I'm on the me bandwagon.  I carry around a picture of me in my wallet.  I hate some stuff I do, some ways I am, but I'm here to tell you, I still manage to pray for blessings to be poured onto my head.

If there's one person whom I know is a real selfish jerk, it's Me.  I can't know your motives, but I know Me, and I can manage to come off unselfish for selfish purposes.  I know it, you know it, the American people know it.  And you know who I'd like to see win the lottery?  Me, of all people!

Figure this:  There's only one guy whose moral failings are amply displayed in front of me every waking moment.  And I actually put that guy's pants on for him every day.  I shop for him.  I pay for his entertainment.  I try to make him look nice.  I floss his teeth.  I take him to the bathroom.  It's way gross, but I want this guy to succeed.  I'm apparently pretty taken with him.

Yep, love the sinner, hate the sin.  Sounds not only tenable, not only do-able -- it's almost like breathing.

Irony: This Isn't Funny

So I was wondering:  What makes us guys so hilarious?

Seriously.  Why are we so stinking funny, when we're sitting around, cutting-up?

No offense to ladies.  Some of you can be a riot.  But we -- us guys -- we're killin' ourselves.  Check out the top comedians of all-time:  Bill Cosby.  Steve Martin.  That one other guy.  Gallagher.  All those guys?  They're guys.

Humor is simple.  It's merely taking two frames of reference, ostensibly incompatible, and overlapping them.*  Frankly, the more intelligent a person is, the more subtle this can be.  But it's the same thing with a little human audience.  You'll get uproarious laughter when you 1) take a cat puppet, and 2) make him say "woof".   I'm telling you, with the right audience, this is solid material.

So why is it us guys are so hilarious?  I have a couple theories, one high-mindedly anthropological, and the other probably right.

1)  It's all about status.  Ultimately, humor connotes intelligence, and intelligence connotes "survivability".  And survivability, for women, is a turn-on.  Humor works like tight abs, and rubber chickens are cheaper than those big dumb exercise balls.

Couple it with character that fairly screams, "I'll never leave you," and you won't even need an awesome car.  Even guys reward other guys for being funny, because they recognize the status this confers from the babes. 

2)  We guys just practice more.  It occurred to me the other day, and this is so WEIRD, that I can't even fathom it:  You ladies, when you're gathered around each other, don't just sit there, thinking, "Okay, what's something funny I can say, right here?"

I'm telling you -- and you may have never realized this -- that's what we guys do.  We're listening -- kinda -- but our minds are going 200 mph in search of something amusing to say.

I asked females about this on my radio show, and while some said they can be pretty funny, they actually acknowledged this difference.  One said, "Why would we waste time with that when there's so much else to talk about?"

Okay, but don't expect to produce comedic geniuses.  You give us Oprah, but we produce Carrot Top.  I think we know who wins THAT one.  Mwa-ha-ha.

* -- Caution:  There's nothing quite so unfunny as disassembling the component parts of humor.  This is why this post is not funny.

Theocracy Watch!

Given the raging concern regarding the contemporary perils of Christian theocracy, I thought this blog would be an excellent place to keep you, the fair-minded, Global Citizen reader, up-to-date on the very latest regarding the Christian theocracies in the world. 

Through education and activism, we can convince these countries' leaders to change their laws that restrict religious conversion from Christianity, break into non-Christian worship gatherings with armed soldiers, torture non-Christian religious leaders, and imprison those who criticize Christianity! 

Here's the latest on all the existing Christian theocracies around the world:

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