Letters from Kamp Krusty

Let's Hear It for Good-Looking People Who Pretend to be Other People. Again.

In what could be a preview into the next round of People Who Pretend to Be Other People Awards, the "Golden Globes" were given to some noteworthy good looking people who pretend that they're other people.

It was neat to see them get attention, plus a "Golden Globe" trophy that distinguishes itself by having a golden-type-globe theme.

Actress Meryl Streep broke her unlucky string of seven consecutive hours without being appauded by winning an award.  It was a globe.  She pretended to be someone else in the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada".

A person named Forest Whitaker also won an award.  Who will forget his epic turn, as someone who's not Forest Whitaker, in the movie, "The Last King of Scotland"?  (Answer:  Zero people.)

Hugh Laurie isn't a doctor, but he pretends he is, and he pretends better than other play-pretend doctors.  They gave him a Globe Trophy for doing that.  Someone named Helen Mirren pretended she was Queen Elizabeth (She had her own crown and everything!  I saw a picture of when she did that!) and people liked that, too, so they clapped for her.  That was neat.

It was profoundly neat to see a Hollywood group give attention to some good-looking, pretending people.  The next round of People Who Pretend to be Other People Awards isn't for another week.  I'm glad I watch the news so I could learn all about this.  I like that.

It Would Still Be an Honor to Be Shot by Jack Bauer

After thinking about it some more:  Yes. I'd still like to be shot by Jack Bauer.

Yeah, the final episode of the last season was lame.  But dang it, Jack Bauer still, in fact, rocks the casbah.

Yeah, I didn't "get" why, when someone said, "Hey Jack -- your daughter's on the phone for you in this dark room here in this warehouse-thing, so just step in the dark here," and then he just walked in.  I didn't get that.  Doesn't his dumb daughter have his cell number?  Hellooooo? 

But he was probably tired.

We're still going to watch.  I do miss some of the characters, like that one hobbit.  But alas, people have to die. 

Which brings me back to my point.  It's not that I want to be shot.  It's just that, if I'm going to be shot, I'd like Jack Bauer to do it.  And I don't want to be one of the bad guys, I want it to be one of those situations where I'm innocent, but I have to be shot in order to save the country, and Jack kinda has to make a tough call, but he shoots me and then doesn't really have time to reflect.  You know, one of those-type situations.

It would be the least I can do for my country.  Again, I'm not saying I want to be shot, but if I have to?  Jack.  And I'd like to then fall over a railing, like off a submarine, into like -- I don't know - the North Atlantic. 

Yeah.  The North Atlantic.

Maybe I could resurface in a later episode, when Jack has a dream about heaven, and me and the hobbit-guy are up there and it kind of looks like the Shire.

This is not a weird death-wish, just a best-of-a-really-bad-case-scenario thing..  All things considered, if it would help my country, I'd rather just be kicked in the face by Walker, Texas Ranger.