Letters from Kamp Krusty

The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever (pt. 5)

The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever (pt. 2)

The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever (Pt. 1)

Kamp Krusty's First-Ever Theme Week: Gird Yourself

I'll be unable to post next week.  I'll be Christian Cruising.

So I'm going to time-release some posts, one each day, that will amaze and provoke.

I give you:  The Most Disturbing Album Covers Ever. 

A local paper brought up the subject, so I thought I'd hand-pick my personal faves.  I will not be here, but they -- they will not, can not, be stopped.  They are timed to upload themselves onto Kamp Krusty, punishing readers like a slow, time-release drip. 

The first Disturbing Album Covers drop on Monday.  Gird yourself.

C-Ya, Chumps: I'm Going on an Awesome Christian Cruise

Me?  I'm going on an awesome Christian cruise. 

This time Monday, Carolyn and I will be doing that thing where everybody throws confetti and says "bon voyage" in a wild, festive, raucous bacchanal of sobriety.

I have been told I will enjoy the ocean of food that will be arrayed before me.  Also, apparently, given the picture of our ship that Google called up, I will also be called to administer Christian massages to immodest Christian females.  I will decline this.

Then, I will relax next to a Christian pool with the members of Casting Crowns. 

My life is a non-stop Carnival of Irony.

UPDATE:

Some of you are questioning the willy-nilly use of "Christian" when applied to entertainment options.  I understand;  I used to be the same way.

But then I was invited on this cruise.

It's caused me to really reflect and re-think some things. 

I plan to continue ruminating, as I do what I feel God has long called me to do:  Float at sea while karaoke-ing with Dallas Holm.

More Excerpts from The 417 Rules of Awesomely Bold Leadership: Lead Through Endless Talking About Leading

Rule #114:  There's only one way Leadership gets done:  Through talking about leading.

[Excerpt]

...and I'm here to tell you, that next morning I woke up with sixteen more rules and twelve more acronyms!  My publisher was thrilled to get the manuscript on-time, again.  Leadership is all about coming through in the clutch.

And you can't just "get" leadership.  You have to live it.  And how do you "live it"?  Good question, friend!

Here's how:  You travel around and talk about it.  Endlessly.  Traveling around, talking about it, writing about it, coming up with rules about it, rhyming it with other words, googling for quotes about it, putting those quotes on notecards, and updating your books with the things that you wrote on those notecards.  For years.

Am I, the Vision Coach, a true leader?  Well, friend, sometimes I can barely get out the door in the morning.  Why?  Friend, I'm pinned in by stacks of thousands of notecards.

Heck yes, I'm a leader. 

Leadership is talking about leadership.  It's like my friend, says, who met Tiger Woods:  "Simply hanging around with golfers doesn't make you a golfer."  No.  But traveling the world, yammering on about golfing, without pause, for decades?  Now you're golfing, friend!

"I 'led' D-Day, but I didn't learn about leadership until I collected 1,000 funny stories about leadership and went around telling them all over the place."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I Saw What They Were Doing Up There in First Class

I like it when I get to go on a plane!  One of the neat things is how they divide us into "classes"!  I'm glad they put a curtain between me and the First Class people!  I can sure understand why they would not want to even SEE people like me.   I wouldn't, either! 

Or, maybe, they don't want people like me to see people like them!  I can understand that, too!  If I was "First Class", I wouldn't want people like me to be able to see me, either, that's for sure!  I'd want a curtain between me and me, too!  Just thinking about me makes me kind of sick.

The plane people always want me to sit down in a special Other Section, called "Coach"!  It's a special other section, just for people like me!  I like it when I get to sit by the 600 pound guy!  I like it because the side of my face leaves neat patterns on the window!   

Thing is, I just flew on a plane, in my special section, and I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY, REALLY bad.  The plane-people had a peanut cart on wheels, which was neat, but it blocked my way to my special Coach bathroom!  I didn't know what to do.  My only other choice was to crash through the Veil, and use the First Class Lavatory.  But that's for First Class Passengers Only! 

Do you know what I did?

I urinated in the First Class bathroom. 

I did!  First, I pulled back the veil, and then I saw what they were doing up there in First Class.  You know what they do up there in First Class?  I found out:  They stare at people!  I saw them do it.  They stare at people who come from behind the veil and walk to the bathroom! 

I think they knew what I was going to do, too, in there.  And while I was doing that, I wondered if they would still be staring when I went back to my own special section!  And they were!  I think they were grossed out.  I'd be grossed out, too, if someone like me used MY special bathroom!

They also get face cloths.  I saw that, too.

(From the Archives) Not Drinking Wine: A Sin?

(Haven't had much time to write, so thought I'd re-post this, which is a subject I've been thinking about lately.  As I've written before:  Eventually, my readership will reach zero.  You WILL be alienated by me.  I figure if that last post didn't do it -- written in JEST, folks -- this one can finish off the other half.)

Yes, I realize there are good arguments to be made -- deep, theologically profound arguments -- but I still say it's not a sin to not drink wine.

I think we have to avoid judging other people's hearts.  Rejecting wine, for some, is a legitimate freedom that they have, and they are welcome to that, provided, of course, it's not borne of selfish, prideful, or legalistic motivations.

Yes, I know, wine is a consistent symbol throughout scripture, of God's peace, of Heaven itself, of God's covenant with us.   Yes, I know, the O.T. prophets intimately link the image of wine with the very Kingdom of God.  I'm aware of this.

Still, we shouldn't judge others.  There were many well-intended people in the Women's Temperance movement.  Yes, it's true, ALL of God's good gifts can be abused and misused, but still, some WTU-types were honestly concerned about how society was defiling that good gift, and could only imagine rejecting it altogether.

Yes, Jesus's very first miracle was a sure sign of the coming of the Kingdom:  Wine.  And it was performed "on the third day" -- a phrase, a parallel, unmistakable to early believers.  Heaven and earth were colliding.  Yes, all that's true.  Yes, in one of the most romantic images ever recorded, a death-sentenced Jesus told us to drink wine to remember him.  And he?  He would wait for us, until we could sit at table again, and join him in the Kingdom party. 

Yes, scripture is quite clear and thorough-going about it:  Wine is a gift, pregnant with wonderful meaning, linked with the very soil, a sign of the creation that was created Good, and will be fully restored in the great Feast.

But is rejecting that gift a sin?  I don't think we can say that.  God knows our hearts, and He will be the final judge, not us.

Yes, I realize there are good arguments to be made -- deep, theologically profound arguments -- but I still say it's not a sin to not drink wine.

I think we have to avoid judging other people's hearts.  Rejecting wine, for some, is a legitimate freedom that they have, and they are welcome to that, provided, of course, it's not borne of selfish, prideful, or legalistic motivations.

Yes, I know, wine is a consistent symbol throughout scripture, of God's peace, of Heaven itself, of God's covenant with us.   Yes, I know, the O.T. prophets intimately link the image of wine with the very Kingdom of God.  I'm aware of this.

Still, we shouldn't judge others.  There were many well-intended people in the Women's Temperance movement.  Yes, it's true, ALL of God's good gifts can be abused and misused, but still, some WTU-types were honestly concerned about how society was defiling that good gift, and could only imagine rejecting it altogether.

Yes, Jesus's very first miracle was a sure sign of the coming of the Kingdom:  Wine.  And it was performed "on the third day" -- a phrase, a parallel, unmistakable to early believers.  Heaven and earth were colliding.  Yes, all that's true.  Yes, in one of the most romantic images ever recorded, a death-sentenced Jesus told us to drink wine to remember him.  And he?  He would wait for us, until we could sit at table again, and join him in the Kingdom party. 

Yes, scripture is quite clear and thorough-going about it:  Wine is a gift, pregnant with wonderful meaning, linked with the very soil, a sign of the creation that was created Good, and will be fully restored in the great Feast.

But is rejecting that gift a sin?  I don't think we can say that.  God knows our hearts, and He will be the final judge, not us.