Letters from Kamp Krusty

If Jesus Had a Blog: This One Religious Guy SO Didn't Like My Answer

So this one religious guy walks up, and he's got this rep for knowing all the rules.  And he goes all like, "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

So I said unto him, "What is written in the law? How readest thou?"

And he answering said, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself."

And I said unto him, "Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live."

...and lo, he was not cool with that.  At ALL.

Posted 1:34 p.m.  in Category "Check Me Out I'm Talking in Elizabethan English"

16 Comments

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COMMENTS

Can't say I blame the guy.  You just wrote off studying scripture, being baptized, repentance, the church -- the whole works -- as worthless. 

Maybe he was hoping for someone to actually help, instead of a simplistic sound bite. 

-- savedbygrace313

I usually like your blog.

But you totally had a chance to seal the deal with this guy, and you just gave him an answer you knew would upset him.  You could have prayed the sinner's prayer with him, could have showed him the chart-thing with the two cliffs and the stick figure on one side and God on the other and how the cross would bridge the gap, but instead you do this, knowing he'd be ticked off.  I don't get it.

-- phillyphan22

And how are we supposed to quantify "love"?  How do I know I'm saved then?

How is this answer supposed to help?  How do I check this off? 

I'm with "savedbygrace".  Instead of being simplistic, why not just give him the right answer?

-- studytheword111

Wow...just wow.

-- i_always_say_wow_just_wow24

this is neat because i love GOD a LOT an d i cant do much right sometimes so i love that you said that

-- jess

Sure, it's really neat that a carpenter from backwater Nowhere can wipe out 2000 years of theology in one blog post. 

Seriously, do some reading before you make up simplistic answers to eternal questions. 

-- theophilus_phd

This is why I LOVE this blog.  You tick off religious people, and make people like me feel like God loves me.  God actually *loves* me.  That is so wild to think about sometimes!

-- marymags123

Jesus Christ, I don't know where you get this stuff.

I realize it's "hip" and "emergent" now to say it's all about love, blah blah blah, but there IS such a thing as the Bible, and we do have rules about the Truth, and it's not just "love".  Sorry.

Jesus, it's amazing what people will believe when we get away from solid teaching.

-- rootedintheword1972

I think what Jesus REALLY meant to say is that this guy wasn't particularly loving, so he needed to love.  He did everything else just fine, like tithing and keeping the Sabbath, and love is just another one of the things you're supposed to do. 

That's the way I look at it.  Jesus was just saying love is another thing to check off the list, and this guy was doing a good job on the list, and so it's just one more thing.  Right Jesus?

-- sallyann

No, Jesus REALLY means that you have to take this in context with all of the Bible.  Jesus knew that guy would eventually have a New Testament, so he could understand that Jesus didn't really mean that eternal life wouldn't really be based on loving God with heart, soul, strength mind, and loving neighbor.   God knows it's not that simple.  If it were, I could preach in less than 35 minutes.

-- RevBoy22

No, what Jesus REALLY means is that God has a wonderful plan for your life, and you need a daily quiet time like NOW or else you're really blowing it, big-time, and you need to start witnessing more fervently, and memorizing The Word.

-- goterrapins1990

No, what Jesus is REALLY trying to say here is that we've lost a sense of right and wrong, and especially kids these days.  Which isn't surprising, because we don't even pray in schools!  Pass this on to ten friends if you love Jesus!

-- huckafan2008

huckaby sux

-- blinkrulz

I think what Jesus is REALLY saying is that he's freaking nuts.

Imagine if we really started believing this stuff.  All we have to do is "love" God, "love" our neighbor as ourselves, and we live eternally in the Kingdom of God.  So everyone who doesn't "love" God, even if they tithe, pray, preach, evangelize, memorize, all that stuff -- won't be in the Kingdom?

Is that what you're saying?  So I guess we can just do whatever we want then.  Neat.  Hellooooo chaos.

-- disappointed_with_this_blog

Hey "disappointed"...if you don't love God here, why would you even *want* to go somewhere where He's FULLY in charge?  Think about it.  Maybe people who don't love what He's about here would really hate heaven anyway.

-- hunterboy99

i like ur blog jesus and i love you lots!!!!!!!!!

-- horsegirl1999

New Kamp Krusty Feature: "If Jesus Had a Blog"

We FINALLY got an internet cafe in Galilee.  The ESSENES have DSL, and we're just getting dial-up.  That should tell you something!

Anyway, I was hanging out with some religious leaders.  They got on my case for not keeping their Favorite Rules (apparently, you HAVE to wash up before dinner, in accordance with scripture.)  I told them religious leaders love to have rules to make everyone else feel inadequate.  They "tithe", and stuff, but my Father doesn't care, because He's all about people having hearts for mercy, and justice, not the tithing rule.

Didn't fly very well.  :0

Posted 12:36 p.m.  in Category "Stuff I Was Talking About in Aramaic Today but Now I'm Typing in English"

12 Comments

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COMMENTS

Jesus, love ya, but I think you're throwing the baby out with the bathwater again, here.  There's nothing wrong with tithing, there's a lot of scriptural precedent for it.   

I "get" where you're coming from, a lot of the time, but this is a little too simplistic.  I encourage you to continue to learn and study. 

-- karifish777

I normally don't comment, but I had to come out of lurking here. 

"karifish" is right, Jesus.  It's easy to criticize and critique, but how exactly do we measure "mercy" and "justice"?   

Maybe pray about this and talk to your pastor about it.  Oh -- I forgot -- you don't HAVE a pastor!  (I still remember that "brood of vipers" entry...)

-- chapterboy21

J -- I usually love your blog, and I appreciate the need for "love", here, but you're basically saying (am I clear on this) that it doesn't matter if I give money or not? 

You go off on these guys, but they're following their convictions.  I appreciate your emphasis on having a heart for mercy, but that's not the only issue.  We need people to DO things that show their hearts, and tithing is part of that.  I'm glad I tithe.

My dad is a pastor, and I showed him your blog.  He said (no offense) you've probably got a thing with authority.  Anyway, I don't think you do, but you tend to over-simplify things.

-- buckeyesgo02

Dude, what are you smoking?

Honestly I love some of the funny stuff you post here (that cartoon of Herod was over-the-top, though) but this is just wrong, I'm sorry.  You are too reactionary against religious authority.  God put those authorities in your life.  Look it up in the Bible, the Word of God.  (I know, I know, I caught your post about how YOU are the word.  Didn't care for that, either.)

-- quiettimephil

OMG.  I *love* this. 

THANK YOU for posting this.  I have felt like a loser for so long, like I can't keep up with all the rules and everything my church is asking me to do and I feel like a failure as a single mom.  And you're saying you just want to see me love people!   

I'm crying. Thank you.

-- karen83

J-Train -- Love the blog.  Keep it comin' brother!

You do seem to lump all religious leaders together.  I appreciate your point, but the fact is, there are LOTS of great religious leaders out there.  You've got a little 'tude going on there, and you speak in big, blanket statements. 

Yes, our religious system is messed.  But we don't need to trash it.  We need to reform it.  Blasting our leaders doesn't help.  We NEED great religious leaders.  I just wish you'd acknowledge that. 

Anyway, just a thought from a brother.

-- agape4U

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-- yourmedsnow2323434

I linked to your blog from your woodworking site.  I had ordered a new wood pulpit, but now I'm going to cancel, now that I can see where your head is with regard to religious leaders and our system.

To be honest, I'm surprised you have a public platform in Christian ministry, and that you're still allowed to do it.  I wonder if your audiences knew what you really thought...would you still have a job?

-- preachtheword9021

Yeah, let's all stop tithing.  Let's stop obeying all the rules.  There won't be any pastors, and we won't be able to pay the bills for our churches.  Nice.

While I'm at it, I'll quit as worship pastor and give all my money to the poor.   Why don't you quit ripping on everything and tell us how church government is SUPPOSED to work?  You never detail that, you just rip, rip, rip.

-- jesusfreak777

Dude -- This story is CLASSIC.

This is why I try to link everyone to your blog.  In fact, my church-planting site is all about trying to get people to believe what you're saying.  You RULE, man. 

I'm so totally with you on the establishment, too.  The weird thing: Almost as soon as I get a new group of Jesus-blog-followers going, and then I try to recognize the mature SERVANTS among them, they all start ranking themselves, and jostling for position and attention.  Unbe-freaking-lievable. 

I write letters to them, telling them to quit putting rules on people, and then they make rules out of my letters.  Hellooooo?

Anyway, I used to be one of those guys putting rules on people, trying to make things complex.  Swet gig, that. THANKS -- seriously -- for putting me out of THAT job. 

-- saul_call_me_paul23

Love the blog.  I think you way over-simplify, and I don't think you're right on all this stuff.  But if you are, I  just wasted three years in seminary.

-- lutherules99192

i don't understand the tithe thing but i like yourblog and i read the thing about how kids rule and i liked that a lot

i like the little yellow flowers U made UR AWSOME

-- horsegirl1999