Here's our annual Christmas letter! (1) How are the Hansens? Well, we're incredible! (2)
Justice has excelled at fencing this year! (3) And Julia is an amazing ballerina! (4) Brant is healthy and strong! (5) And Carolyn is still home-schooling and teaching a Latin class! (6)
Our church is growing like crazy! (7) We got a new dog! (8) Brant still drives his cool, old convertible! (9) He's still a pretty crazy-cool young guy! (10) And he's more laid-back than ever! (11)
The kids are enjoying practicing on the beautiful piano we were given! (12) We bought an awesome used minivan! (13) It has a DVD player! (14)
Brant's exotic experiences continued, even without his usual globe-trotting! (15) He always amazes his friends! (16)
Carolyn's home-making skills are dynamite, and she now produces six quarts of homemade yogurt each week! (17)
Brant got a raise! (18) A Whole Foods opened up nearby! (19)
Meeko, our bird? Sure, we've complained about how loud he's been, but he's not nearly the nuisance he was! (20)
(1) -- Footnoted, for a more realistic view.
(2) -- In terms of hair.
(3) -- He wants to quit.
(4) -- But she quit, because they wanted her to essentially surrender her life to it. And the Hansens couldn't afford it anymore. Punks.
(5) -- Joel Osteen outbenches him.
(6) -- Carolyn's quitting that. She says she actually doesn't know any Latin, and the kids are starting to figure it out.
(7) -- Some think Brant got too excited and invited everybody.
(8) -- He's missing a leg.
(9) -- The roof doesn't always lower right, so Brant slammed it and broke his pinky.
(10) -- Considering he had his first prostate exam.
(11) -- Brant is on drugs.
(12) -- Except a key sticks now, because Brant's guitar pick got stuck in it.
(13) -- Because we wrecked our other one.
(14) -- Brant can't figure out how to make it work.
(15) -- Brant contracted e-coli.
(16) -- By contracting things like e-coli.
(17) -- Brant eats six quarts of yogurt per week, which is nearly as gross as contracting e-coli.
(18) -- Plus a free Relient K CD.
(19) -- Raise neutralized.
(20) -- We got rid of him.