My team, the Texans, saw their season end on Saturday, in the first-round of the Everyone's-Invited-So-No-One-Gets-His-Feelings-Hurt Playoffs.
The season had many ups and downs. Sure, there were frustrating moments. But, then, there were exhilarating breakthroughs. Like the last game of the season, when all of us -- each and every one, like a finely-tuned drill team -- simultaneously wore legal shorts.
We finished 2-6, a marked improvement from my winless first season as a coach. We had about ten different plays we ran on offense. We encoded them with names like "Post-Flag-Drag", or "Trips-Left, all Slants" to sound all football-y.
But that's where we tricked the defense. It turns out that each play actually, in execution, really is "Everyone Run Around In Circles, Deflect Our Own Pass Directly into Defender's Hands for Defensive Touchdown." At the line, the QB would say "Motion 4 Slot-Left!" -- but we knew where we were REALLY going with it: Pick-Six City.
Included are pics of our final game, we're in black. A guide:
Pic #3 -- A young man named "Ian" jukes past us for a touchdown.
Pic #4 -- A young man named "Ian" jukes past us for a touchdown.
Pics below -- A young man named "Ian" isn't pictured, because he had to stay at the field when his team won the game. Mwah-ha-ha.
The Florida Texans walked off the field and went straight to Juno Pier. Sure, we can't throw it or catch it all that well, but we can kick it, man.