Letter I Sent to Barack Obama

Letter


3/18/09

Dear President Obama,

How are you?  I am fine.

I wanted to get back to you about those interviews you requested awhile back.  Like I said, I was pretty much full-up busy when you called.  I already had interviews set up with the Whistling Champion and "Mr. Pets".

And I'm sorry I couldn't quite make out what your name was.  I did catch the "I'm going to run for Senator," part, but wasn't even sure what party back then!

Anyway, I was reminded you'd requested an interview on my show when I saw you on T.V.  I looked up and saw you on this screen, and saw you standing there with a nice suit on, and I think your wife was there, too, and -- yeah, I'm picturing it now -- I think you were being sworn in as President of the United States.

So, like, when do you want to do the interview?  I'm pretty flexible now. 

Sincerely,

Brant Hansen

Radio Host

P.S. -- I "hope" we can talk soon!   -- That's a little reference to your campaign slogan-thing!  I "hope" you liked that!  :) :) :)

P.P.S. -- I can't do it on Wednesdays.  We have a staff meeting.  And please not after 1 p.m., because that's when I like to go home for the day and maybe go swimming.  Thanks!

Shocking News: Idealistic Middle-Aged Guy Likes New U2 Album

U2 image Jupiter, FL --  A 39 year-old, white, American male really likes the new U2 album, "No Line on the Horizon".

Apparently, according to Brant Hansen, the album features some "soaring, chime-y guitars" and anthemic choruses. 

He likes that. 

Again.

"Yep, it's pretty awesome...again," he says.  "I can't help it.  I'm sorry."

Hansen listened to the whole awesome album, and read all the awesome lyrics.  It turns out, on this album, U2 uses a lot of allusions to Jesus-centered spirituality. 

"I really like 'Magnificent', in particular, lyrically.  But there's a LOT of good stuff here.  Bono does say the word 'shitty' once, but he's Irish, so it's okay, because in Ireland, it just means 'crappy', which just means, 'poopy', if you think about it."

"I really, really like it.   I predict it will sell millions of copies, not get played on Christian radio, and 'worship bands' will do 'special music' numbers with the songs.  That's what I predict."

When asked if he would listen to it repeatedly for the next 20 years, drive it into the ground for everyone around him, learn the songs on guitar, sing them all with annoying not-quite-Bono affectations, and pretty much find all other bands inferior, forever, he replied, "That is my plan."

This U2 album comes with pictures, including several of the band not looking at the camera.

Awesomely Bold INTERVIEW: Mike Bishop, Author of What is Church?

(Full disclosure:  Mike is a very good friend here in SoFla. 

Click here for his very cool website, and to order his most excellent new book, What is Church?)

Coversm

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Brant_hansen The Vision Coach:  So, just so you know, you're not going to be invited to speak at one of my Leading Leadership Seminars.  
 
Mike:  Well, I hope I can still subscribe to your weekly "Leading Leadership Direct" DVD shippings.

VC: No offense, here, partner, but I read an entire executive summary of this "book" of yours, and it never once tells me exactly how we're supposed to "do" church.  What good is it then, if you don't give us a how-to?  This is America, dang it. 
 
That was probably the central fallacy of the church growth movement - the idea that church can be modeled and then reproduced in a variety of contexts.  It didn't work.  The models may have worked great at Saddleback or Willow Creek, but their imitators came up with all sorts of wackiness. 

I hope this book creates some space for people to imagine new alternatives to church-as-we've-known-it.  Our experience in South Florida will look different than inner city Chicago or rural Arkansas.  
 
VC -- By the way, in your very humble opinion, for our reader, here:  What's the answer -- in your little opinion, which I don't necessarily agree with -- to your question, "What IS church?"  Please feel free state your opinion, which you're certainly entitled to, and I'm pretty sure is nuts. 
 

Church is pretty simple actually.  It's God's people, living together.  That's hard for us to accept because we relate to each other primarily as consumers, looking for entertainment and a social identity.  We might recognize other Christians at the Christian book store, send our kids to the same Christian school...even listen to the same goofy DJ on the local Christian radio station...but without the social identification that we go to First Baptist or Calvary Chapel, we're lost. 

What if our identity as the church was that we did life together with these people?  We were friends, raised our kids together, helped the poor / sick / lonely together, were being transformed together, and...dare I say it...had fun together?  I think that's an extremely attractive vision of church.
 
VC-- That's not "church", son.  That's a mess.  We're all about leadership, here.  Your little cabal -- house church?  small group? -- needs strong leadership.  Why don't you believe in leadership? 
 
In my book I mention a story about Nelson Mandela.  In his autobiography, he recalls how a leader from his tribe in South Africa talked about leadership:  "A leader is like a shepherd.  He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind."  What Mandela recognized is that there are some leadership tasks that can't be accomplished directly, from a singular place of power. 

Our faith community is comprised of a lot of thoughtful, gifted, and capable people.  I believe what passes for leadership in most churches is an insult to the average Christian.  We don't need to be herded around like cattle by one guy riding on a white horse...we need to be set free to explore new territory for the kingdom of God.  True leaders will recognize this and serve people to that end.
 
VC -- "Where there's no vision, the people perish."  That's in the Bible.   
 
You're right!  Whose vision do you think that verse is talking about?  
 
VC -- Speaking of the Bible:  Ever read it?
 
 
I pretty much get all my ideas from my Dad, Bono, and Napoleon Dynamite.  And the Bible, of course.
 
VC -- If you're not going to take the bull by the horns and tell us how to lead people, and how you've done a masterful job of it yourself, why should someone even bother reading this book? 
 
Wwe don't need another expert book about church models or leadership.  We need to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  There are so many Christians - and Christian leaders - who love Jesus but have all but given up on church.  Many still go through the motions, but are secretly longing for something simpler, meaningful and connected to their real lives.  We've found that the journey from there to here is filled with pitfalls and uncertainty. 

Although the 'expert' books can be helpful, the most valuable components is having friends and allies along the way.  That's my hope for all who read this book, to know that they are not alone, there is a way forward, and there are those out there who will stand beside them as they continue the journey.
 
VC -- Whatever.

Yes, This is an Awesomely Real Book

Awesome 

And from Amazon (and some people took the time to actually click, "No, this review was not helpful...")

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
60 of 65 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars My journey from being cool to awesome, August 29, 2008
For years, I struggled with meager coolness until I read this book. Now with my new-found knowledge and my "I am awesome" shirt, all the ladies want to get with me. It may look like they're just laughing and pointing, but I know that they truly find me irresistible. Since I've modeled my hair and clothes from the book cover, everyone thinks I'm Zack from Saved by the Bell. It just doesn't get anymore awesome than that. Oh yeah.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)



 
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Practicing Awesome, October 18, 2008
I've been practicing awesome for 3 years since I first read this book. After practicing for so long, I didn't become awesome until I finally found the perfectly diverse group of friends to hang out with me as I taught my awesomeness to them. Thank you devotionals for teens!
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Life in a Christian Nation, 2008

Crnecklace Shawn was telling me about shopping with a friend, who was getting her man a gift. 

"He wants a cross necklace," she said.

So they walked to the jewelry department.  Shawn found a cross necklace.  But she didn't want that one. 

"No -- no.  I think he wants one with the little man on it."

Posts that Get Even Stupider With Time

Brilliant By the way, while I was taking a break from blogging, it's worth noting that this entry magically became even stupider.

Everybody Apparently Knows Brant Hansen Wouldn't Have Done That

Home depot I can't fix stuff.  I can't do a lot of "guy" stuff.  But I finally did a "guy" thing!

I went a rented a tool from Home Depot!  It was a pressure washer!  It worked!  I pressure-washed with the pressure washer!  I did not break the pressure washer!  I returned it on-time! 

I was proud!  I did a "guy" thing, and it worked!  I paid for the tool rental with my Visa, and went home, happy that I was a real guy!

The next day, the Visa people called.  They reported "unusual activity" on my card, and wondered if someone had stolen it.

Saving Grand Theft Auto

Gta iv Admit it:  You want to play "Grand Theft Auto", but you want a Christian version first, and you want it NOW.  The people who make the "Guitar Hero" knock-off, "Guitar Praise", could be working on it.  MTV Multiplayer asked them about it.

MTV Multiplayer: So just thinking about the core open-world gamplay, could we expect a clean, Christian version of “Grand Theft Auto” from Digital Praise?

CEO Guy: Well, that’s a very good question. Creating a game that has a lot of fun activities and stuff, that has appeal. But we would attempt to make the focus or the experience to be one that was positive...And is it ultimately fun? And so that’s the challenge of it all.

Awesome.  They need ideas.  How to follow up "GTA 4:  Liberty City" with a Christian version?  I'm just brainstorming here, off the top.  Hit me with your own ideas:

Expansion Pack for "GTA 4:  Liberty City":  "GTA 4:  Liberty CityFest with Evangelist Luis Palau"

"GTA 5: Colorado Springs"  -- Players try to simultaneously hold down long-hours job at Focus on the Family while somehow keeping their own families together.

Catholic version, "GTA South Bend:  Grand Theft Grotto"

"GTA 6: CCM Nashville" -- Players duel in streets to procure hair product, then battle for opening slot on yet another Third Day tour.

"GTA 7:  Obamaville" -- Players unite in harmony as one as thousand-year reign of peace ensues.

New unlockable street thug characters:  Bob and Larry

"GTA:  Goin' to Gloryland" -- Same exact game as "GTA".  Same crimes, no discernible difference in behavior, except all players believe they've got tickets to heaven.

New gameplay soundtrack:  Twila Paris

"GTA 8:  Grbert Goes Freakin' Crazy"  (Rated M)

Okay, Seriously: Why Do Pastors Have to Bring Their Motorcycles IN the Church Building?

I seriously have no idea.

(HT:  Ron)

If you want more bikes-n-church, here's one and here's one and here's one and here's one and here's one and here's one and here's another one

And then there's this.

   

Praise the Lord

Praisepicthing Violent thunderstorms moved into South Florida this morning, postponing, indefinitely, the Synchronized Swim-Off.

It is with heartfelt sorrow that my friend Pablo and I will be unable to accept the challenge from the aggrieved Synchronized Swim Team of Palm Beach Gardens. 

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  • Because there's nothing more fun than forcing people to look at your own photo albums, here's an online version. I can't force you to look at it. I can't even force myself to think you'd want to. But here it is. Oh, the places you'll go!