Letters from Kamp Krusty

CCM Band to Play, Cue Explosion

Doesn't matter the artist, or the station:  the concert promos are all the same. 

"Live, it's ____ , for one special night (cue explosion FX)  (cue hook from biggest hit w/fake crowd fx) with special guests ______ (cue hook, then lasers fx, etc...)"

I jokingly said I could do the whole thing with just my big mouth, and then got a free half-hour in the production studio to create a promo for our next show, a band called "Casting Crowns".  The result is dangerously close to reality:

Download castingcrownsspoof.mp3 (1440.9K)

If you haven't heard of Casting Crowns, I can help.  I'm not a great music reviewer, because my own tastes get in the way.  Nevertheless, here's what I can objectively offer:

Casting Crowns is a band that has recorded many songs, using the very same recording technology that's been employed by many top acts in the industry, including, but not limited to, computers.

The band hails from Georgia, considered one of the top 50 musically-influential states in the union.

Casting Crowns is a very big band.  There are seven people in this very big band.  There are only three members of The Police, which, musically speaking, makes Casting Crowns 133% more dense.  If they were to play U2 in dodgeball, The Edge would have to personally hit three people from Georgia just to even the match.

Two more members, and they could march in formation, and spell stuff. 

Casting Crowns outnumbers some of the top bands of our era, including Radiohead and Coldplay, and they have six more members than "Lauryn Hill".  Their live show evokes memories of early 2112-era Rush, as they also use mic stands.  And you'll recognize many of their instruments, including Beatles-esque six-string guitars.

I Have No Title for This

If I Didn't Already Know Better...

Live and Learn, Dep't.

 

Conscientious Objection

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Crashville, Tennessee

How bored am I?  I'm watching people cobble.

I'm in Nashville, for work.  I have nothing to do, which should be wonderful.  But I'm also sick.  I have no energy.  I hurt.  Hold me. 

I had some time yesterday, so I took my shoes to a cobbler to be fixed.

I pointed out some holes in my shoes.  A small Asian cobbler did cobble.  I watched, and hummed, "...one cobbler cobbling..."

It cost $16.  That seems high, but I really don't know.  He cobbled good, and was also nice.  My shoes please me.

Two nights ago, I did go to dinner with Doug at a Mexican place.  Doug is on a new health kick, "Just eating smarter."  We ordered chicken fajitas.  Doug then drove us to the Shell Station, specifically so Doug could buy a Diet Pepsi. Doug finished it before we left the Shell parking lot.

Last night, I went to dinner with Shaun at the same Mexican place.  Shaun is on a new health kick.  Shaun is exercising and "eating right, eating smart", which is neat.  I ordered chicken fajitas.  Shaun told the waiter, "One large Sprite, and I'll just have chips." 

We talked for a long time.  I told Shaun about the cobbling I'd seen, and how excited I was about my shoes.  The waiter kept refilling Shaun's chips. 

"New Idea" Processor!

      

"Bibliolatry"