If Jesus Had a Blog: The Good News is Getting Out
What up. Man, it's a busy time of year. It's time to celebrate my birth, I guess, so everyone's doing what you'd expect in response -- the only logical option: Guzzling egg nog and singing about Frosty the Snowman.
I have noticed there are people passing, children laughing, and I'm greeting smile after smile. So that's nice.
(It's all awesome, but you know what really frosts me? When the people at the Jerusalem Costco say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". MAN, that sets me off. I hope my followers, thousands of years from now, make a huge, huge deal out of that, in keeping with my teachings regarding Christmas and stuff. Okay, so I'm being sarcastic. This isn't the first time, folks.)
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Anyways, it's all good, and here's my real point: I'm pretty stoked, because I sent more followers out today to tell the good news! And here's the news: The Kingdom of God is near!
Some are catching on that I'm the Messiah, because they see the evidence: Blind people getting their sight back! Deaf people getting their hearing! Lepers now clean! And the good news is getting out to poor people!
POSTED TODAY 2:34 P.M.
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COMMENTS
I'm sorry, Jesus, but last time I checked, that wasn't the Good News. You don't tell the whole story.
The Good News is that I got my ticket to Gloryland!
-- sharon777
So...when Jesus shares the Good News with the poor, he's supposed to say, "Hey, everybody, Sharon777 got her ticket to Gloryland!" ??
I mean, we know you're important, Sharon, but...
-- julsmith20
I'm with sharon777. The Good News is that Jesus died for us, and we can accept him and go to heaven. It bothers me that this blog entry doesn't reflect that. I'm not even sure what all the "kingdom" talk is about, but it's not the Gospel.
-- prayerwarrior4god
Sarcasm isn't very Christian.
-- nicole_1985
Excuse me, but my church has BIBLE studies, BIBLE preaching, BIBLE class, Vacation BIBLE School...and I have no idea what you're talking about. So something is really wrong, and I'm just going to presume it's you.
-- liz2
So, I know this wasn't your main point, but you act like it's no big deal that stores won't say, "Merry Christmas." I think it's time we took a stand, before it's too late to win our country back.
Didn't you tell us to "take a stand" to win our country back?
-- momof4
Right on, "momof4". I was at Walgreen's this week, buying one of those massive inflatable lawn ornaments, and the lady behind the counter was all like, "Have a great holiday" and man, that burned me up.
I think it totally takes the focus off of you, Baby Jesus.
-- cindysue12
I don't like the implicit message in this blog entry, here, J. If God's "kingdom" is "good news", it means we're supposed to want him in charge of everything, like some kind of king. Not only is this sexist/monarchist, it implies I'm merely his "subject" and I'm supposed to advance his agenda. How's that "Good News"?
The implications for this are huge. I like calling my own shots. I don't serve a demanding "god" who threatens this kind of stuff. I'm done with this website.
Does Baby Jesus have a blog?
-- goblue32
I think you guys are missing something important here. He says in his last line that the "good news" is getting to the poor, and that's evidence he is God's chosen one.
THAT, to me, is the offensive thing. It shouldn't make a difference whether someone is poor or not. Our church targets rich people in the Dallas suburbs, because -- guess what -- we're rich people in the Dallas suburbs. We spend $4 million a year to reach ourselves, and there's nothing wrong with this at all, because God loves us, too.
Yes, poor people matter, but no more than anyone else, and it's not like God has some kind of special relationship with them.
-- howboutthemboys96
Actually, I think Jesus is saying he does have some kind of special relationship with them.
-- annie21
Well, the God *I* worship doesn't look at people differently just because one has money and power and the other doesn't.
-- howboutthemboys96
I'm sure that's true.
-- annie21
You're a pinko lefty.
-- howboutthemboys96
You're probably so stupid you voted for McCain/Palin.
-- annie21
Hey, I like Sarah Palin. She's a Christian, like Tim Tebow. Did you see how unfair they were to her about her clothes?
-- trish
Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her house. How reckless was it for McCain to nominate her, anyway? Embarrassing. I don't vote for backward Wal-Mart shoppers. Sorry.
-- bob239
Hey "bob239", Palin didn't say that, Tina Fey did. Doof.
BTW, Wal-Mart employs a lot of people, and does this country a lot of good, which is more than I can say for Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
-- dwj
I agree with dwj. We spend way too much time criticizing Wal-Mart, when we should be trying to find Barack's birth certificate. Whoever voted for him is stupid.
-- mike_m
Actually...your stupid.
-- carrieanddave2002
Actually...YOU'RE stupid, because you "actually" don't know how to use apostrophes.
-- mike_m
ddear jesus
i hope you are king here soon like you r in heaven
-- horsegurl1998
