The University of Illinois football team -- and, by extension, Brant Hansen -- defeated the team from the University of Michigan -- and, by extension, everyone associated with Michigan -- just moments ago.
My self-esteem is soaring, thanks to what we did. "We" is me, plus a group of young men I've never personally met. They were assembled from several states, and also the District of Columbia.
I am greatly gratified that Michigan compiled 20 points, which was decidedly less than (<) the points we scored, which summed to 45. "Juice" Williams and I combined for 431 yards of total offense.
Previously, I had stated that this sort of thing (athletics are a mere adjunct of what are, ostensibly, educational institutions) is of no consequence. I now see that my identification with the University of my degree is very much part of who I am, and the football team is a representative of that University.
Ergo, I win.