C-Ya, Chumps: I'm Going on an Awesome Christian Cruise

Me?  I'm going on an awesome Christian cruise. 

This time Monday, Carolyn and I will be doing that thing where everybody throws confetti and says "bon voyage" in a wild, festive, raucous bacchanal of sobriety.

I have been told I will enjoy the ocean of food that will be arrayed before me.  Also, apparently, given the picture of our ship that Google called up, I will also be called to administer Christian massages to immodest Christian females.  I will decline this.

Then, I will relax next to a Christian pool with the members of Casting Crowns. 

My life is a non-stop Carnival of Irony.

UPDATE:

Some of you are questioning the willy-nilly use of "Christian" when applied to entertainment options.  I understand;  I used to be the same way.

But then I was invited on this cruise.

It's caused me to really reflect and re-think some things. 

I plan to continue ruminating, as I do what I feel God has long called me to do:  Float at sea while karaoke-ing with Dallas Holm.

Comments

[cool dad]

Just remember that the pool is the baptismal, too. No urinating, Brant.

[Tim Maynard]

bacchanal? show off.

[Tim Maynard]

How much money do Western Christians spend on recreation?

Funny you should ask, because I just discovered the amount is so astronomically high that they have become their own market demographic, commanding enough revenue to justify setting up entire cruise ships as "christian" themed.

Let the Carnival of Irony commence!

[Eric Hilliard]

Lucky Dog... my wife and I are trying to win a cruise in a video contest. If you get a chance, check out the video and drop a rating. Song written by yours truly!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr_4LUDIjPM

[Samuel Jones]

I've always been a little uncomfortable about the Christian days at theme parks and Christian cruises and stuff. Are we supposed to contextualize the gospel into material revelry for the Christians? When in Rome?

As a Missionary Kid from the 3rd World, where people have a hard time getting medical care or sometimes food, the volume of resources poured into entertainment just seems absurd. I often feel guilty just being at a theme park. I don't know if my 3rd world experience gives me a clearer perspective, or a more jaded one. Mostly I don't say too much about it.

Brant, enjoy your cruise for what it is: a cruise. But as far as their spiritualizing it by calling it 'Christian' I say, "Mock on, Brother! Mock on!"

[Chaotic Hammer]

Christian cruises are the work of the devil.

Also, I wish I could go on one.

[Dave]

"Non-stop carnival of irony"

best... Christian pseudo punk band... name... ever

[Tim Maynard]

"best... Christian pseudo punk band... name... ever"

so true

[Just Matt]

I meant to chime in and tell you this morning that the secret to not getting sea sick on these things is to wear, not a special bracelet, but one of those big foam cowboy hats. Preferably in a neon color. Also, painting your toenails bright pink helps too. But only your big toes. I don't know why...but it does. Trust me on this. I am an 'avid' cruiser and would never suggest anything just to make you look silly.

[Jeremiah]

Have a safe trip Brant !! Bring me back something pretty :)

[scott eaton]

Considering that this is a "Christian" cruise, it is a good thing it is not a sin to not drink wine.

[Steve_11]

Brant, as this is a Christian cruise I assume it is to the "Holy Land". And there is a "Leading Christian Celebrity" leading it - for you to follow.
Communion on the Mount of Olives followed by a hallowed rendition of the Beatitudes at the foot of an old rugged cross.
You can actually step in the same footprints that Jesus left as he ascended the Villa De LaRosa.
I read that one of them takes you to a real sepulcher (sp?) where they say Jesus is buried!
Now that is a real Christian cruise, my friend!

If it is one of those Carribean cruises calling itself Christian you are getting scammed. They are just lying to you to get you spend money that otherwise you would give to the poor. The so-called Leading Christian Celebrity Leader is probably just some wannabe Holy Land cruise leader who doesn't even know where Jesus is buried!

[Texas in Africa]

I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than be locked on a boat with no alcohol and a bunch of Christians. But maybe that's just me.

[Brant]

Uh, excuse me, but I've been told the bars WILL be open.

You don't get righteousness points for refusing to go into a bar if it's closed.

[The Chick Voice]

There are so many funny, sarcastic things I could say here, like leaving 10% of the food on the buffet. But I don't want to make Baby Jesus cry.

[Kevin Kitzmiller]

Wow! I really do hope you enjoy yourself. I myself, would probably enjoy a nice drink if it settled well with my stomach at sea.

All of these comments are to hilarious, so I wont even try.

But I do suggest playing a few rounds of Poker or something of the like, just for fun...that should stir someone up.

And make sure you take some of you excerpts for Awesomely Bold Leadership to give to the Leader of Speakers there.

ok, well i tried to be funny, but i just cannot top all of these others. But do have fun!

[Barry Pike]

Christian Cruises? You are going to get sick. People always get sick on cruises. Or tossed overboard under mysterious circumstances. We'll be hearing about you on Nancy Grace soon.

But have a nice time anyway.

[maryann]

have fun.

[Julie]

Shouldn't Christians be taking secular cruises instead, so they can lead all the drinking and dancing and fornicating heathens to Jesus.....?

Talk about a captive audience!

Now that would be a whole ton of righteousness points right there, brother!

[John M.]

Wow, now we truly do see the triumph of Satan. With deck chairs. And little umbrella drinks. Where is a herd of pigs when you need it (them)?

What could be worse? A movie called "Prince Caspian"? Thank goodness that will never happen.

[Harr]

Casting Crowns annoys me