I Went Running and Shoved My Glasses Up My Nose and Almost Killed Myself

I went running and shoved my glasses up my nose and almost killed myself.

I went running, and I had a towel in my hand, and my glasses were in the towel, and I wanted to dry my eyes, but the ear-handle-thing from my glasses was sticking out, and I didn't see it, and when I raised my hand to my face, I shoved the ear-handle-thing up my nose, all the way.  All the way.

I went running, and my glasses went deep into my sinuses, and, from what I could tell, behind my eye.  I went running, and I think I did what I normally don't do during my run, which is to say, I think I touched my brain from the inside. 

Half my face started crying.  I went running, and I felt like someone just punched the inside my face.

I've included an Action Picture above.

Comments

[Mike Taylor]

See, this is why I never go running. Works for me.

[Seaton]

Was there no warning label on the towel or the glasses? Both the manufacturers should be sued for their obvious negligence. Maybe you could get free linens for life, or a pair of those super-cool glasses that change when you go from dark to light.

[cap]

This made half of my face cry. The other half was laughing. Really hard.

[Just Matt]

Those who say exercise isn't dangerous need to read your blog. I mean millions of people each day probably suffer from glasses in the nose syndrome while they are running. But they are the voiceless! If this message just reaches one person Brant...Just...one...person...

[Jeannie]

I would normally just poke a finger in my eye and be done with it. You are very creative.

[Doug Hannah]

Are you SURE embracing the whole "Pagan Christianity" thing is such a good idea?

[Doug Hannah]

Actually, I keed, I keed.

This is nearly as good as that time in Houston when you were out jogging and got lost and had to ask someone if you could use their phone so you could call Carolyn and have her come pick you up.

[Note from Brant: "Someone" in that case was the cops. I was so glad to find the police. Policemen are friends.]

[karenkool]

From the looks of this post, it appears that you have a bit of brain damage from the excursion. I am so sorry, Brant.

[M.E.]

Ouch, Brant!

But have you ever cut down a tree branch only to discover you'd made a baby bird homeless after you'd locked yourself out of the house without a cell phone and your spouse won't be home from work for hours?

Ouch.

[From Brant: Yes. Twice.]

[Steve_11]

Let me get this straight.....you went running?

What were you thinking?

And then the business of carrying your bifocals in you towel in you hand while running - serious rookie mistake.

Seriously, how many other runners do you see doing that? Zero would be the correct answer. Yikes! I thought you were an awesome leader of awesome leaders, not a glasses-up-the-nose dufus. I hope there was some bleeding involved.

In case you damaged your eyeglass temple (that is its name, 'cause that is where it is supposed to be on your head) whilst inserting it inside you sinuses, here is a link to some reputable replacement parts:
http://lxing.en.alibaba.com/group/50077620/Eyewear_parts.html

Since you probably chew on them too, I recommend you specify the lead paint free product.

[Mr. Hussel]

Wait a minute. I thought things like this were not supposed to happen to Christians. Or maybe just not on the bench press.

[Heidi Renee]

I touched my brain from the inside - oh thank you for sharing your pain. Is it wrong that it brings me so much joy and laughter?

[Doug Hannah]

Or that one time when you told Jana that if she made you take the KSBJ remote van downtown to cover a news conference that you would probably damage it, and you did.

[Doug Hannah]

Or that one time when you were in band and you reached back to get a piece of paper and got caught in a folding chair.

[Doug Hannah]

Or that one time when you bought a 1983 Honda Accord for $1600 and then sold it to me for $600 a year or so later.

[Fay]

Strangely enough, that's been one of my biggest irrational fears since gym class in junior high when I was hit by a kickball and that almost happened to me. I guess it's not so irrational after all. Getting hit by a kickball at close range when you're wearing glasses is no fun, either. Moral of the story: wear contacts when you're exercising.

[Julie]

Ow.

I'll bet you don't ever do that again!

(Shoving your glasses up your nose, not running. Running is good for you.)

[euphrony]

I prefer to impale my face with the "invisible" clear straw in a glass of water, which I forget is there, cannot see (in the dim lights of restaurants) and proceed to shove up my nose (occasionally eye) while trying to drink from the glass and not the straw. It sure makes the meal more entertaining.

[Jorg]

You need to start wearing a monocle like Col. Klink---much safer. They're making a comeback, Brant. And every time you make a surprised look it'll just pop off your face and dangle on its chain (Hooooogannn!!!)

[Jimbo]

Geez, Brant, was this a cry for help? First psychopharmacology and now self-performed psychosurgery?

Hmm, trans-nasal eyeglass lobotomy. Could be even bigger than it's predecessor.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5014080

[cybilscribbles]

I have a friend who used to do this *on purpose* to entertain small children. He also rode a unicycle and made animals out of balloons. Maybe you can turn this into a new form of outreach ministry?

[Barbara]

OUCH! My eyes are watering just thinking about it.

[TomTom]

This post made no sense until I looked at the "action picture" provided. Then, everything fell into place.

[Monica Battaile]

I think I just peed myself...

[mishvl@yahoo.com]

When you touch your brain from the inside, savant art happens, Microsoft Paint-style.