The first rule of our church's Sunday School: If you are the first one to show up, alone in the class, and you hear a strange noise upstairs, DON'T go investigate.
Rule #2: Keep your spark plugs on your truck well-maintained at all times. Should you ever need to make a quick escape, you'll want 'er to start right up.
I see yer problem: you have a punch bowl for Sunday morning refreshments!? That so labels you as aristocratic elitists. Dump the punch and get a Starbucks®, dude – the crowds always go for lattes and scones.
Why does the guy talking, with the fishy-T, have only four fingers?
[Note from Brant: Bill, this will, no doubt, be the subject of conjecture for generations. I will leave you to ponder the meaning. Suffice it to say, I defy convention, and strict literalist interpretation. Disappointingly bourgeouis of you, to be honest. Now, if you'll excuse me...]
Oh, it's a hockey mask, is it? I thought it was a Hannibal Lecter mask for a minute.
Funny how he in his mask is the only one who has a fully formed face. The rest of them strangely have all had the left side of their faces blown off with a shotgun.
Let's say the two guys having this conversation are named Randy and Stu - Here is Randy's response to Stu's above mentioned statement:
Randy: There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive Declining numbers at church. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
Randy: BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
Randy: The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: I'm gettin' another beer(we're assuming Stu & Randy are reformed) you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: I'll be right back.
Randy: See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
I will take the magnanimous approach that you guys are doing church outreach to the hockey-mask crowd.
That turns off and scares some of your more fledgling "members", as it were. Thus the decreasing numbers.
But if you can reach just one hockey-mask wearer.......
Did not Jesus have some of that same problem, you know, with the lepers and the likes?
Some of his followers got a little squeamish around the less-than-desirables that Jesus spent His time with.
I think that picture of yours truely depicts our Lord Jesus Christ, and it should officially replace the traditional image - you know - long haired, bearded, sharp-featured slender man either in a white robe or on a cross.
Bonus! Much less likely that people will see this image and then flock to worship it on a windowscreen or a piece of toast.
To paraphrase Jesus - That which you do unto the man in the hockey mask, you do unto me.
I remember having a thought one time... Who are our modern day lepers and how does the church treat them? Murders, sex offenders, crack heads, politicians?
All of the above make me just a little nervous. But... so did the lepers.
It's Jason from Halloween 12 or 13. 13 would be more evil so, it's probably that one. I also think I noticed 3 threes in the drawing which is half of 666 so, this picture is only half evil.
Because there's nothing more fun than forcing people to look at your own photo albums, here's an online version.
I can't force you to look at it. I can't even force myself to think you'd want to. But here it is.
Oh, the places you'll go!
You are evil, man.
Posted by: chris, living in a Kentucky cartoon | January 10, 2008 at 12:23 PM
The first rule of our church's Sunday School: If you are the first one to show up, alone in the class, and you hear a strange noise upstairs, DON'T go investigate.
Rule #2: Keep your spark plugs on your truck well-maintained at all times. Should you ever need to make a quick escape, you'll want 'er to start right up.
Posted by: Doug Hannah | January 10, 2008 at 01:05 PM
the guy in the hocky mask is priceless - you my friend are a modern day Picaso
Posted by: Just Matt | January 10, 2008 at 01:05 PM
I see yer problem: you have a punch bowl for Sunday morning refreshments!? That so labels you as aristocratic elitists. Dump the punch and get a Starbucks®, dude – the crowds always go for lattes and scones.
Posted by: euphrony | January 10, 2008 at 03:29 PM
I see someone so busy hanging with the "in guy" that they don't see the pain all around them.
[Note from Brant: ALL great art prompts a variety of visceral reactions.]
Posted by: A non | January 10, 2008 at 05:39 PM
Why does the guy talking, with the fishy-T, have only four fingers?
[Note from Brant: Bill, this will, no doubt, be the subject of conjecture for generations. I will leave you to ponder the meaning. Suffice it to say, I defy convention, and strict literalist interpretation. Disappointingly bourgeouis of you, to be honest. Now, if you'll excuse me...]
Posted by: Bill Kinnon | January 10, 2008 at 05:55 PM
Why is the guy in the hockey mask the only one with a complete head?
Posted by: Bob Sacamento | January 10, 2008 at 08:19 PM
I suspect, dear friends, that in the future art critics will realize that in fact this is a self-portrait...
Posted by: chris, living in a Kentucky cartoon | January 10, 2008 at 09:39 PM
Oh, it's a hockey mask, is it? I thought it was a Hannibal Lecter mask for a minute.
Funny how he in his mask is the only one who has a fully formed face. The rest of them strangely have all had the left side of their faces blown off with a shotgun.
Posted by: Sue | January 10, 2008 at 10:54 PM
You can't jam eyeglasses up your nose with a hockey mask on. Good thinking!!
Posted by: Mark | January 11, 2008 at 08:27 AM
I guess that settles the church security debate.
Posted by: cool dad | January 11, 2008 at 08:54 AM
Let's say the two guys having this conversation are named Randy and Stu - Here is Randy's response to Stu's above mentioned statement:
Randy: There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive Declining numbers at church. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
Randy: BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
Randy: The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: I'm gettin' another beer(we're assuming Stu & Randy are reformed) you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: I'll be right back.
Randy: See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
Stu: Why is that guy wearing a hockey mask?
Randy: Exactly
Posted by: Just Matt | January 11, 2008 at 09:50 AM
I will take the magnanimous approach that you guys are doing church outreach to the hockey-mask crowd.
That turns off and scares some of your more fledgling "members", as it were. Thus the decreasing numbers.
But if you can reach just one hockey-mask wearer.......
Did not Jesus have some of that same problem, you know, with the lepers and the likes?
Some of his followers got a little squeamish around the less-than-desirables that Jesus spent His time with.
I think that picture of yours truely depicts our Lord Jesus Christ, and it should officially replace the traditional image - you know - long haired, bearded, sharp-featured slender man either in a white robe or on a cross.
Bonus! Much less likely that people will see this image and then flock to worship it on a windowscreen or a piece of toast.
Posted by: Steve_11 | January 11, 2008 at 02:42 PM
To paraphrase Jesus - That which you do unto the man in the hockey mask, you do unto me.
I remember having a thought one time... Who are our modern day lepers and how does the church treat them? Murders, sex offenders, crack heads, politicians?
All of the above make me just a little nervous. But... so did the lepers.
Posted by: Patch | January 11, 2008 at 10:24 PM
It's Jason from Halloween 12 or 13. 13 would be more evil so, it's probably that one. I also think I noticed 3 threes in the drawing which is half of 666 so, this picture is only half evil.
Posted by: albert | January 19, 2008 at 04:46 PM