The Krusty Sage: Quit Buying Crap You Can't Afford Just "Because It's Christmas." Sheesh.

"Oh, but it's Christmas!  It's a special time of the year!  I know, we're in debt, overall, but it's Christmas, and that's only once a year, and -- "

"And..." you're an idiot.  Seriously.

------------------

The Sage says it in love.  The Sage also says, in love, that if you spend $150 on your kid for Christmas when you don't have $150, you're not only giving your kid a neat-o Nano, you're giving your kid a gift that keeps on giving:  The gift of foolishness, surrounded by beautiful lights, the scent of pine, and fudge.  The gift of foolishness, on display, etched in memory.  Ah.

Yes, Target and Apple and Best Buy don't advertise many $30 gifts, and they've ratcheted up the expectation level for Christmas.  But -- last time I checked -- your will remains free.  This means you don't have to be an idiot.

Yes, your parents may have overspent every year as you grew up.  Yes, they may have been Baby Boomers, seeking to atone for parental guilt, for one or another reason.  Yes, there may have been stacks of presents under your tree.  Yes, you think this is way Christmas "is supposed to be". 

Yes, so what.

Christmas is not "supposed to be" you, buying stuff you don't have money for.  Sorry.  If you're a dad, and feel bad because you can't spend hundreds on everybody, tell them you don't have the money for it, and you'll still have a great Christmas.  If that makes you feel bad, man up.  You're being bullied by a bunch of advertising majors. 

Gee, you're in debt?  How'd that happen?  This is a mystery.  Someone call a C.S.I. unit.  Maybe they can figure out what happened.  Maybe they can piece it together.

Or maybe you bought a bunch of crap.  Maybe you should stop it.   Maybe Christmas isn't special at all.  Maybe it's just the latest excuse to overspend.  Gee.  Huh.  Wow.  Gosh.  You think?

"Okay, we're in debt, and yeah, we did buy a $1,200 TV, but it's not that simple, because sometimes --"

No, it is that simple.  Sorry.  Next?

"But everyone at my kids' school gets tons of expensive gifts like 360s and Wiis and stuff and -- "  Are you in debt?  "Well, yes, but it's not that simple, and -- "

Nope.  It's that simple. 

"But it's not realistic to spend only $20 per person in this day and age, and -- "  Why?  "It's just not that simple, and -- "

Waah. 

If you don't have the money for it, you don't buy it.  Don't act like your kid "needs" a Zune, either.  It has nothing to do with "needs", or even your kid, really.  It has everything to do with you:  Your desire to have some kind of "perfect Christmas", your guilt, your insecurities, your conflict-avoidance, your expectations, and you know, just generally...you. 

Bottom line:  You wish you a merry Christmas.

"But didn't the 'wise men' bring GOLD to baby Jesus? And fancy myrrh and stuff?  That was extravagant, and -- "  They were royalty.  You think they used a Discover Card?

"But isn't 'Christmas' in the Bible, and -- " No. 

Sheesh.

Comments

[ChestertonianRambler]

Amen.

I don't have kids yet (and thus probably am not one to talk), but my philosophy is that if my kids are never dissappointed at the lack of presents on Christmas day, then....

(a) they're superhumanly virtuous, or (more likely)

(b) I'm doing something wrong with my gift-giving.

[Jeff]

I really like your posts but I wish you wouldn't candy-coat everything you say. Maybe it's the drugs. I'm kidding of course.

Sometimes my wife and I don't buy gifts for ourselves so that we can afford gifts for others. I suppose this isn't such a bad thing.

My wife's side of the family has set a $10 limit on gifts in the past because most of us didn't have much money.

I think it's terrible when people go into credit card debt through the spring because of spending too much on gifts.

[Texas in Africa]

Brant, you ought to see What Would Jesus Buy?

[Monica Battaile]

That's what happens when people send you links to places like "I Heart Guts"...you spend every penny you have...

[Nathan Bubna]

Join the Advent Conspiracy!!!

http://www.adventconspiracy.org

[Fay]

Wow, what's in the Krusty Sage's pipe? Preach, Krusty Sage, preach it!

[Sue]

I feel sorry for parents at this time of year. It's one time of year I'm kinda glad I never ended up having any kids. But yeah, I agree. What a bunch of pushovers we are when encouraged to indulge our materialism.

[Ryan Roberts]

It is great to hear some wise words from the Krusty Sage. It has been awhile.

I am a reader living in South Korea. Thanks for your blog, I enjoy it.

Merry Christmas

[cool dad]

We look forward to teaching our kid to celebrate Christmas not for the gifts, but for the real reason: Santa's birthday. (i think that's stolen from the Simpsons)

[Shar]

Bravo, Bravo!!!
The Indiana Hansen's are with you!!!

So, um, I posted a link to your blog on my FAV homeschooling board, (Five in a Row...www.fiarhq.com) and you now have MORE readers. Just thought you'd wanna know!

[Marie]

Man, I wish my husband read your blog :)

[Becky]

I LOVE THIS POST.

A couple years ago I tried to convince my family to do a giftless Christmas. None of us had any money at the time (still don't.) We didn't go totally giftless but we cut waaay back. It's the best thing we've ever done. Now we just get together and play games and eat all day.

It's GREAT.

No spending money we don't have. No crowded shopping malls. No stress to find a bunch of gifts. Just fun family time.

I'd highly recommend it.

[Patch]

Telling my kids we don't have the money won't help. They KNOW it's not us, but rather those little elves making the Wii's, 360's and what-not.

[Nathanael]

But Mr. Scrooge, it's Christmas!

[Nathan Bubna]

Yep, Christmas. A great time to...

Spend less. Give more. Defy the empire (of materialism). Change the world. Jesus didn't empty Himself and become a helpless baby so we'd have an excuse to buy stuff, debt or no debt. Spend less. Give more. Join the conspiracy:
http://adventconspiracy.org

[Steve_11]

I would like to say that I wish my wife would read this, but that might be considered inconsiderate, so I won't. Plus she sees my paychecks and thinks we can afford anything. But then there are all those other expenses we already have that the spouse may not be so in-tune with. Like the mortgage, electric bill, gas bill, water bill, phone bills, cable and internet bills, tuition bills and insurance of all sorts. Then there is food and stuff like that. Don't forget my car payment(s) and the gasoline and maintenance. It seems you have to be rich to live in this country. But then we as a nation are. I bet it really is "simpler" in third world countries at Christmas time. They just simply celebrate the birth of Christ.

What I don't like about the marketing gurus is how they have led us to have these gift receiving expectations, and I even more do not like how we have fallen for that.
A gift is not the same as a "gift" when it is expected.

[Lucia]

I don't always agree with you, Brant, as you know by now, but I hope you don't mind if I print out as many copies of this post as I need to wallpaper my house. (Oops. That would be a waste of paper. I'll still do it in spirit.)

And may I add, for those of us who may not be in debt but are trying to avoid wretched excess nonetheless:
- if it won't be used, don't buy it. Yes, that includes all manner of geegaws and bric-a-brac and stuff just to look at.
- if its intended recipient's room is already eyeball-deep in clutter, don't buy it.
- if its intended recipient will lose it, break it, or forget about it within the month, don't buy it.

I'm making a lot of gifts this year, as I did last year. And my daughter gets to go out with her grandmother and buy lots of cool school supplies to send to a needy kid in Guatemala.

[Jerry DePoy Jr.]

Because the original Christmas was all about accumulation and credit, right?

Thank you for this.

[annie]

Ouch. But I love it.

[John Dobbs]

This post is pure therapy for American consumers.