I've gone a MONTH without coffee!*
I was addicted to it. I drank a pot -- a pot! -- every day before 9 a.m. I felt, quite literally, that I couldn't function in the morning without it, that I couldn't possibly be a good on-air personality without it, that I couldn't live without it.**
I'd been a coffee-guzzler for years. Then, I quit, cold-turkey! From non-stop, "Where's my next coffee going to come from?" to absolute zero!***
It felt great! I did it via my own steely will! I was cheered on by my radio listeners, and congratulated by health enthusiasts!****
Beset with addictions? Be like me. I, Brant Hansen, am a strong man. Addictions? Buh-bye. There's a new sheriff in town! Sheriff Me!*****
* -- This piece was written on Thursday. I gave up and went back to sweet, sweet, precious, life-giving coffee today.
** -- Turns out I can't function in the morning without it, can't be a good on-air personality without it, and can't, in fact, live without it.
*** -- ...and back to, "Where's my next coffee coming from?"
**** -- Who won't speak to me anymore.
*****-- I have the right to remain silent.