I'm hereby offering advice to no one in particular. No one asked for it, and no one should vainly imagine themselves its intended audience. So be not offended. I didn't have you in mind. You probably think this song is about you? Don't you? Don't you?
Your Kids Don't Need a Stupid College Fund
I know, you think it's irresponsible. It's not. Your kids don't need a stupid college fund.
"But isn't college important, and what about careers and...blah blah blah, boo-hoo-hoo?"
Well, sure. But not nearly as important as everyone makes it out to be.
And if your kid goes to college -- awesome. But if not -- and I'm quoting the Great Writer, the one who wrote the theme from Diff'rent Strokes, here: "Doesn't matter that you got not a lot, so what? They'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine."
This, of course, is high cultural heresy. Wonderful, crisp, light and refreshing -- cultural heresy. (About which I now misappropriate the sayers of sooth in Family Force 5: "I want it, I love it, can't get enough of it.")
You're not charged with getting your kid a college education. You're not charged with ensuring your kid is a successful American. You're charged with the development of your kid's character.
"But it's still important to go to college and..." -- whatever. If you've got money to put away for this purpose, great. Congrats. But that's a far cry from what some people do: Working themselves to the bone, stressing out both mom and dad, taking on extra hours -- to make sure their kid gets into this-or-that school for future career purposes.
That misses the point. You have them NOW. You're needed NOW. They need you to chill NOW, and quit modeling that the point of our existence is career advance NOW, before they internalize the lie.
"But what if they don't make enough money and --?"
See anyone starving to death? Not sure but -- yes, yes, this is the U.S. And this would be the society that's trying to educate its poorest to stop so often paying others to cook for them, to alleviate chronic obesity. They'll be fine. Maybe they could (horrors) go to community college for a couple years before transferring somewhere. Whatever.
Education is good. Knowledge is great. (I wouldn't be chilling here with this dusty book and awesome white beard if I didn't think that, chump.) And nice stuff is nice (like this hizzy-rocking wood chair-thing.) But if your kid becomes a Doctor but she doesn't truly know you, and your real love for your neighbors, well, you missed the point, and you don't get do-overs.
You've got them now.
We'd all like more money, more prestige, but it's not the point. And if you believe that last sentence, quit acting like you don't. What you believe is what you do, not what you say.
There. Sheesh.
