We Quit Going to Church

We quit going to church.  And -- who knows? -- we're probably not going back.

I'm not interested anymore, and neither is Carolyn.  I'm going to write about it in the days ahead, and fully realize this is going to offend some, particularly those who read this blog and have their livelihoods, or self-worth, or ways of life tied to church-as-it-is.  There's no way around this, save not writing about our convictions.

There's also no way to say, "Here's our conviction," without others thinking, "He's saying, 'we all must do this.'"   I'm saying no such thing, but whenever one advances a different idea, a different conviction, or has thought about something differently, it's often taken to mean, "I prescribe this for all others."  Fact is, I'm prescribing nothing.

I'm fond of an extreme form of editing, particularly for blogging purposes.  I don't like reading much text on a screen, and presume you don't, either.  Brevity makes for snappier writing, but it also makes tackling a subject like this difficult.  Nuance is rarely afforded in a tight economy of language.  I apologize in advance for this.

We are NOT done with the church.  We're done attending one.  We are not done trying to follow Jesus -- quite the opposite -- and we are not doing what so many churches have warned me against, "forsaking the assembly".  We're still getting together with other believers.  In fact, more than ever, and more fruitfully than ever.

Turns out we have more time for this, since we quit going to church.

We're not done supporting churches with our money.  We're just giving it to churches in Africa, who use the money for things like AIDS drugs and mosquito nets, to keep babies from getting malaria.

Turns out we have more money for this, since we quit going to church.

More to come...

Comments

[Greg]

As one who is supposedly planting a church...stressing about where to meet...laying down $13K on a sound system, stage, & lighting...and not giving money to the churches in Africa who need mosquito nets...and finding myself caught up in ridiculous meetings...where can I sign up?

[Greg]

Oh yeah...does this mean you want me to quit sending my newsletter to you? That $.39 could really help out in buying guitar picks.

[Richmart]

I'll be the first to bite and be flamebait. I'm VERY interested in hearing where you go with this as I frequently have the urge to do exactly the same thing. I find it theoretically appealing but practically impractical. I'm tempted to write a very long post explaining my view, but I'll be patient and wait to hear what you've got before jumping into the fray.

[Shawn B.]

Sign me up, do you need an usher?

[Fay (Hola!) Shakes]

Nice disclaimer. And as for this line...

"Nuance is rarely afforded in a tight economy of language."

...Wow. Nice one. Can I steal that? Anyway, I'm interested to see where this goes.

[bryonm]

You should talk about this at the next Way-FM Share-a-thon...

[Mike West]

It will be interesting to see how well you discipline yourself to get with other Christians for prayer and study. I had a friend who tried this and I saw his walk become weaker and weaker. Accountability is a key in the Christian walk. From the $ angle.....it is possible to support both the local church and other churches and ministries. Good luck as you formulate your new church...I mean fellowship....I mean meetings with others....I mean visiting with others....whatever. It has merit and I know you well enough that your motives would be right on.

[Brant]

Mike, congrats on Kentucky's bowl game. I'm jealous.

I can already address the very legit discipline concern: I feel like I need less discipline than ever, in a good way. I actually enjoy the relationships so much, and feel like my time is now so well-spent, it reminds me of college -- when we had friends and time! So the growth, I think, comes more naturally, rather than the result of forcing myself to "go to something."

We get together on Sundays in each others homes to eat, and on Wednesdays, too. We also frequently get together, two or three or four at a time, for lunch and what-not.

Sundays before our meal, we get together and give everyone a chance to bring something to the table: a song, a scripture, a concern, some way they've seen Jesus during the week. Sometimes this goes on for less than an hour, sometimes a lot more.

The kids talk, the teenagers contribute, and we have the ad-hoc World's Least Excellent Worship Band.

It's been terrific, if a bit crowded. This week, I didn't even score a TV tray, but that made me sit on the couch with John and Shawn. But we had a fun (and animated) discussion about judgmentalism. We interrupted all the conversations and prayed over John and Tara for their trip.

There's not much discipline involved, frankly, because -- ta da -- I enjoy it more than I've ever enjoyed attending anyone's presentation, including my own hilarious and stirring sermons. Fact is, we're not "attending" anything. We're getting together with people we love, or are just meeting and learning to love, and trying to push each other toward Christ.

Bottom line: I don't want to go to church. I want to be the church, and if everyone adopted that mentality, would Kingdom-minded pastors object? Humbly, I suspect not.

Bryon, actually, we HAVE talked about it at Sharathon. The Africa part, and the necessity to see our money used fruitfully. Now the "Brant's take on contemporary American understandings of church" part...that may be hard to shoe-horn in there...

Fay, steal away. We'll have a reciprocal stealing program.

Rich, this whole thing is daunting to write about, because there are so many angles. But perhaps a sorta limited question for you: What makes it impractical? I'm curious what you think.

(Greg, I want your dang newsletter, which is right in front of me, because it gives me the news about the Hunts. And tell Steve Jolly "hey" for me, though he won't remember me. That's AWESOME that he's with you. Makes perfect sense. I love AMOR. I know that's redundant.)

Shawn, I'm so glad you're a part of my group of friends we call a church. Friendship, confession, knowing each other, laughter, partying with family? They're...okay...but you're going to love the flow-chart we've developed for you! Just wait until I get you plugged into my vision! You're going to be excited!

[Mike West]

Sounds way too legalistic for me. I don't think I could deal with the peer pressure to "share" scriptures or concerns in a small group atmosphere. (Sorry for the Christianese....I know that can be offensive) Sitting on the back row of a mega church seems much more comfortable. Isn't church bashing fun?

[Brant]

Mike -- just to be clear: Do you think I'm church-bashing?

[T Freeman]

Oh boy . . . I pray for blessings on your snappy writing . . .

[Mike West]

Perhaps bashing is bit harsh...sorry. I think there are some legitmate reasons more and more Christians are becoming critical of churches. But bashing other Christians and other churches seems to be the "in" thing in many Christian circles. I don't think it is always productive. I too find myself being critical, sarcastic and cynical and have to pull back. I think it damages an already severely damaged image. Despite all it's faults...the local church is still the only real hope in our communities. I would hate to see our communities without them. Again, I know you well enough to know your motives. I am just getting a little weary of Christians taking shots at Christians. This post hit a bit of a nerve because I was concerned that it would lead to endless comments of "burn the witches."

[Jeff]

Brant...
I don't know exactly how to say this without hurting you deeply...
But after reading the last two posts I have come to the disturbing conclusion that you are "in fact" more hip than the rest of us!
Seriously, as a guy who gets paid by a church... we've all wished for the informal fellowship and REAL accountability of those college days at one time or another...
Gotta go write a sermon or something.
Peace and Merry Christmas!

[Stephen]

Brant, have you heard about the new Barna research on house churches? Andrew Jones at Tall Skinny Kiwi blogged about it at http://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/tallskinnykiwi/2006/12/house_churches_.html

[Douglas_Coombs]

Brant,

It sounds like you are trying to create a really tight-knit Christian community. Is there a difference between community and church in your mind? How does liturgy fit into it all, or is that something you even think about?

Doug

[Brant]

Some responses...

Mike, I understand entirely. On the flip side (and I'm confident you'd agree with this) we owe MUCH to those who have gone before us, re-examining what the church has become with what it's supposed to be.

For example, what I mention about everyone being free to bring a song, a scripture, etc. -- that's from I Corinthians. It's not a mere preference, though it's absent from most worship gatherings in America.

As I continue to discuss the issue, I expect defensive reactions, but I don't expect much scriptural correction. Perhaps I'll be surprised.

Historically, it's often precisely those who LOVE the church who question its then-current cultural forms. We owe a lot to those critics.

I'm also not going to confuse confronting ideas with attacking people. That goes for my ideas, as well!

Jeff, you are hilarious. I appreciate that, as a pastor, you "get" what I'm trying to say without being defensive. I think many do and will, for precisely the reason you write: They desire this sort of thing, too. Moreover, Kingdom-minded pastors would be THRILLED to see their people say, "Church is supposed to be a movement, not an institution, and the movement is being thwarted right now." They won't be insulted. They're probably already preaching it, themselves frustrated and questioning.

Stephen, I'll check it out, thanks. (As an aside, none of us is trying to be a "Home Church", per se. We kiddingly refer to ourselves as a "Homeless Church". But I'm sure the poll will be relevant.)

Doug, yes, to my mind, there's a difference. A church is more than a community, it's directed community. "Community" is not an end-goal, it's a means, and an inevitable expression of God's presence, I think.

Liturgy is something we think about. I'm learning more about it, and do appreciate the traditional church calendar, for instance. But it's not something we practice weekly.

Brant

[Shawn B]

I think community is even a bit of an understatement. I prefer to refer to the current situation as my church family, even more so than a "home church", call it what you will, I know for me personally in the short time I have been a part of this family, God has grown so much bigger in my eyes. In a traditional church setting it is a bit more difficult to be truely close to other believers. So God working in your own life is evident, but I see God work in the lives of others on a weekly basis, even using the young kids in our "church family". If you are a councilor, minister, or pastor I am sure you can relate to seeing God work in the lives of the perishoners. I am not opposed to anyone who prefers attending a traditional church organization. For me, and my relationship with God, I have found this kind of corporate worship more beneficial.

[Lucas]

I see what you are saying, where I live we are seeing churches put up millions of dollars for new "state of the art" buildings. The more I see it, I keep thinking that spending millions on a new asset or spending millions to spread the christian word in the community or outside it. I have no problem with the "church" it is just the way some congregations spend their resources. It is scary to see the rise of the corporate church.

[Chaotic Hammer]

My wife and I have been part of "small groups" or "home groups" for a few years now. It started when we were in California and when we moved to Tennessee it was something we eagerly sought out, and happily, found.

Just last night we had a meeting, and one of the guys in the group, who is a musician and travels frequently, noted that he hadn't been able to attend the Big Church for several weeks because of his schedule, but said that it didn't really matter because the small group was really church to him anyway.

And in our experience, he is right. I've been trying to subtly say, and work toward, something that sounds a whole lot like what you're saying here, Brant. For the time being we are still attending the Big Church on Sunday mornings, and certainly enjoy the teaching and encouragement we get there. But (and I've said this before, and my friend said this last night) if tomorrow we got the news that the Big Church was gone, dissolved, whatever, we would not miss a beat.

We genuinely love our small group family, and have decided we have an eternally important stake in one another's lives -- this isn't just a bible study or social gathering, it's a group of believers who have decided to do every aspect of life together, to be there for one another, to laugh and cry and pray, and everything else that we see written in the New Testament as a description of what The Church is supposed to look like.

But anyway, I don't want to steal your thunder, Brant. It just amazes me how much your description of this sounds exactly like our experience has been.

[richmart]

I am kind of "off" the church right now because of my frustration over how difficult it has been for my wife and I to find a church that we can contribute to and that will provide us with what he need to grow in our love for God and others. Since moving to Athens we have found the churches we have visited to feel like country clubs full of REM's Shiny Happy People. I would give ANYTHING to find a small group of real people who I can feel free to be something other than shiny and happy (I am not shiny and often not happy)and who bear one another's burdens and know each others' hopes and fears.

However, the reason that I feel that it isn't practical is that when you move to a town where you don't know anyone and want to put down spiritual roots, you have no choice but to look at the local churches. Once you do this you either get lucky and find one that works or you bounce from church to church. If you get lucky and find a church where you can share your gifts you're not going to want to leave. If, as has been our experience, you bounce from church to church you desperately need a group of the sort that you describe but how do you find it? In this town, the place you go to find Christians is the church and if you are happy there you are not going to leave and, therefore, you stick with the traditional church. If you are not happy, you keep looking at other churches because there is no where else to look. That's what I'm trying to express when I say that it's impractical.

FYI, my wife and I do not excessively high expectations regarding churches. Our Achilles Heel is that both of us are "what you see if what you get" people who need a place where we are confident that we can be who we are without being judged. This is what we've had a lot of trouble finding.

[Steve_11]

Brant, be carful with where you are headed - you know, logical progression stuff. If your weekly gatherings become more popular, you may have to instill some sort of order to it. A pastoral figure may step forward; a board of elder's may need to be appointed. Then there's all the little kids - maybe a place for them to be cared for. Maybe the teens want something more suited for them and their interests on a Tuesday night, and a summer camp. If you outgrow someone's home, you may have to find a bigger place to meet; Form a committee. Maybe put a sign out front so people know what is happening there. Give it a recognizable name. Then what do you have, Brant??

Our church has decided to change it's name. Why, I'm not sure. I guess the current name "Community Christian Fellowship" is too something. Too accurately descriptive I say.

We are taking ideas into consideration. "Fire in the Forest" keeps popping up. I think we need a committee.

[Brant]

Lucas: It's striking to me that the Really Big Church pastors whom I know are often the ones who would NOT be threatened by what I'm talking about here. I have some close friends, and respected acquaintances, who are the types of guys others seek to emulate. They see fruit borne of their efforts, certainly, but wonder about the health of the American church and its priorities, and continue to think outside the status quo. I respect them a lot.

Chaotic: I have to laugh at the "Big Church" phrase. I've used it. One feels guilty about not "attending" "big church", even though there's no such command, scripturally. That's why -- I'm predicting here -- those who think they disagree with me, or are unsettled with what I write -- will not generally offer scriptural arguments.

I'm not exaggerating when I say we now DO have more time for relationships, something we've been craving, since we don't have to attend multiple things, or attend practices or planning sessions to get the Big Event in order.

Rich -- I can't tell you how much I understand, or at least think I understand what you're saying. Something tells me, though, there ARE many like-minded folks in Athens, though you haven't found them, yet.

I literally hunted some down on the internet, here, so desperate were we. I emailed a guy out of the blue to meet me for lunch. Turned out to be a providential move.

I have another friend who's emailing me, saying precisely the same thing. "This is what I want -- where do I find these people?" I think you'll find them, and many may not currently call themselves believers, because they don't "get" the church. But they get Jesus, they yearn for truth and grace, and they yearn to be around people who will actually like them.

Steve -- I know exactly what you're talking about. We could grow and lose our original dynamism. Happens all the time. Hopefully, it's in the DNA of our group to avoid this.

[cap]

Brant,

What keyword searches do I use on google to find these people?

And also, mad props for even tackling this subject. It's difficult to discuss this without getting a lot of wild reactions, and it's really nice to see a decent discourse going on here. Very helpful.

One of the difficulties I've had in trying to discuss this with people (and I know you've had the same one) is that it's hard to get people to see it not as a " new model".. or a "movement".. or, even worse, an "anti-movement". I don't want to start a revolution--somebody else already did that. I'd just kind of like to participate in the one that's already supposed to be going on.
; ]

[Joel]

Brant, I enjoy reading your blogs; they prove quite interesting. Look forward to seeing your follow-up post about "church." :)

[isaiah543]

I empathize with your desire to find more fellowship by doing less church programs.

It looks like you've got Hebrews 10:24 accounted for. But tell me how you are obeying this verse:

"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." (Hebrews 13.17)

So who's keeping watch over your soul now? Who are your elders? To whom are you submitting?